You Like Me, You Really Like Me!...or maybe not

It has not always been easy being Catholic in this country.  From the early settlements of the colonies, English settlers took a very hostile view of those papists joining them in the new world.  It would take over 170 years before a Catholic would be elected to the presidency.  Otherwise, Catholics were to keep to themselves, shoulder outright hate, bigotry, and intolerance.  Then with the age of media, we were treated to some positive images of priests and sisters...singing and kindly.  We saw a Catholic Bishop, Fulton Sheen, have a hit TV show.  Then we elected Kennedy and something changed.  In a speech before Evangelicals in Texas, Kennedy basically promised that would not use his faith in the way he led, he would be a good little protestant dhimmi and be just like them.  No wonder the speech made Sen. Santorum want to puke.  He got elected and Catholics had an epiphany...all we have to do is chuck our faith if we want to be popular.  We could still retain the cultural identification as Catholic, we just didn't have to live any of it or publicly profess any of it.

Then, just off the heels of this epiphany came the sexual revolution.  We might have had problems with this or that teaching of the Church, but now we were free to just let loose.  What better way than to fornicate like bunnies and feel no tinge to that nasty old conscience! We could contracept our way into a new and freeing existence of  all the benefits of marriage without having to marry.  Women were told that marriage and family life weighed them down anyway, but why chuck that ball and chain and have to miss sex?!  When that stodgy old Pope Paul VI put out Humanae Vitae..well we just had in black and white just how out of it the Church was.  It wasn't just lay people either.  Many of those priests and sisters who stayed, after so many left, adopted this new 'freeing' mentality and , well, woo-hoo,  just went to town.  In fact the less that you could act or even look like one of those nasty old relics, the better.  Sure, some people got bent out of shape, but they were humorless puritans.

So we bolted from our faith, dumbed down...I'm sorry...breathed new life into the practices, and acculturated so much worldly wisdom,  that assuredly now they would like us!  65% quit going to Church much at all or completely.  It became fashionable to be a cafeteria Catholic, picking and choosing what teachings we liked or didn't challenge our favored sins.  Surely, the world would love us now!  Of course, the clergy decided that this would be a wonderful time to hand our detractors boatloads of ammunition (not to mention boatloads of money as well) and break their vows of celibacy with children, women, and men.  Okay, it was a small percentage of the clergy...a really small percent...but we bought the narrative that most priests had all the sexual restraint of a teenage boy in a brothel with his dad's credit card.  We bought the premise that most priests were gay or just really weird.  Surely, the world will like us now!  Our convents emptied out!  Our seminaries emptied out!  Surely the world would like as now! Yeah, not so much.

 Catholics are learning that you never negotiate with someone who wants you dead.  While those who abandoned their faith were lauded and gave themselves such non-offensive names like 'recovering Catholic" (get it?  Like a recovering alcoholic? because Catholicism is a disease?  Funny !  Oh never mind) and some became official spokesmen for the Church in the mainstream media and were trotted out like prize turkeys whenever a pope dared cross the pond and drop in.  All the better if a former priest of sister..better yet if a current one who just show how worldly they were in trashing the pope.   But for those who decided to stick it out, the attacks have been relentless.  The more faithful we are, the more they hate us, and we  have to happy with this. Really...happy?! The entertainment industry will continue to portray all clergy and religious as either dolts, Huns, gay, or criminals.   The media will continue to portray faithful Catholics as insipid, ignorant, intolerant, hate filled, half breeds, hypocrites, and nitwits.  The oh-so-smart academic types will continue to doubt our intelligence, our teachings, our rituals, and our faithful with little more than derision and scorn.  Maybe even the government will continue to try to strip away our rights.  SO WHAT!?  My attitude is : BRING IT!

History shows that whenever we are persecuted is when we grow.  When we take the moral high ground and stand our ground without returning their attacks with equal aggression, we prevail.  When we are forced to defend our ground, we have risen time and again to the occasion.  If this sounds defiant..well, that is the point! Truth be told, I don't want the world to like me and approve of me.  I don't need their stamp of approval.  I don't want to be the shape-shifting insecure about who I am person that allows the cool kids to dictate their likes and actions.  In Luke, the Beatitudes bless those who are persecuted and curses those who are liked and approved of by the world.  The Catholic who doesn't see their faith as something worth dying for is the Catholic who doesn't see their faith worth living for.  So to Hollywood...bring it on!  Music industry...bring it!  Government officials...hit us with your best shot!  Media...we're not scared of you!  We came before you, we'll be here long after you.  We have outlasted every kingdom, empire, and trend that has tried to destroy us.  We have survived every foolish self-inflicted wound with which we have struck ourselves.  That is because we have Christ promise that you would never prevail and crush us. We have the power of the Holy Spirit.  We know already who wins the war...and it isn't you!  So bring it...by the grace of God, we're ready! 

Why have Catholic Schools? Thoughts on Catholic Schools Week

This week is Catholic Schools Week in this country, a time when we celebrate the Catholic parochial school system, interparochial schools and High Schools, and other Catholic Institutions of learning.  The teaching of our youth in both the ways of the faith and in the other areas of education have long been an important part of our Mission as  a church.  Parochial schools in this country have been in the forefront in many ways.  We established schools among the Native American peoples when most others were disinterested. We had the first desegregated  schools system in this country when the St Louis Catholic School system ended segregation in its school system, almost decade before segregation was struck down by the US Supreme Court.  We can look at great saints in this country such as St Elizabeth Ann Seton and St. John Nuemann who were champions of the early parochial schools in this country.  These schools grew despite the bias and prejudice leveled against Catholics.  These schools help to provide Catholic identity for generations of students through the American centuries.  We have a great legacy in our possession.

There has been much criticism leveled at Catholic Schools.  Some say they are a hiding place for the wealthy and elite who want their children away from the riff raff of public schools even though Catholic schools will bring in such students in an effort to help.  The popular media likes to portray the nuns who staffed schools for many decades as humorless witches who took delight in tormenting children even though many nuns happily served for most of their life in the education of our youth and most were good people.  Some say our schools have lost their Catholic identity and look and act no different than their public counterparts.  In some respects this has happened, but it is my experience that this is easily remedied and I have found both my teachers and administrators in the 4 Catholic schools over which I have been pastor most amendable to suggestions I have mad to bolster Catholic identity and change over catachetical programs.  In fact, I found our teachers and administrators to be overall good people, very active in other aspects of the parish other than the school, and dedicated to the Catholic mission even though teaching at a Catholic School means a substantial lessening of salary as compared to what they could get for the same position in a public school.

In my homily this evening, I reminded the congregants who were there for the Mass opening the Catholic School week, that we as a Church, are in, for lack of a better phrase, the business of the salvation of souls.  Our Mission is the Mission of Jesus Christ, through and through.  Any program or thing that is done in a parish is to be about the salvation of souls (as we see in this weekend's Gospel) and thus to share in prophetic role of Jesus Christ to announce and exemplify the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Our schools must be connected entirely in the proclamation of the Gospel and model themselves exclusively after Christ.

I also remarked that the message we hear in our education (which had better be the Gospel...otherwise great harm is inflicted) and in our Church's teachings are not the only message vying for the ears of our children.  Between basketball games this afternoon, I watched a selection of shows on channels who aim at our children.  I was appalled at the messages and models regularly presented as normative behavior.  Adult authority figures (parents & teachers) were portrayed as self-involved, distant, clueless, cruel, easily dismissible characters made to be circumvented or ignored.  Kids were precocious  know-it-alls.  Teen boys were either betrayed as hopelessly insecure and nerdy or as suave users with the moral compass of a tapeworm.  Teen girls were portrayed as hopelessly insecure or so absolutely mean and manipulative as to be outright demonic.  I will not even get into the hedonistic lyrics set to awful tunes that most music is.  The point is that parents need to be vigilant that the message consumed by their children at home and in how they entertain themselves does not undo what we teach them as matters of faith and morals.  There must be a consistent message or the purpose for having Catholic schools becomes undone.  Now, undoubtedly, some will read this and remark that we can't hide this stuff from children.  My answer is to ask whether you allow your children to eat from a garbage can or swim in a sewer lagoon?   Of course not, you protect your children from such things because of the adverse effect it has and explain how these things are dangerous and harmful.  That would be part of the parents' duty of being the primary teacher of their children.  If we wouldn't allow them to partake in things that would actively destroy their bodies which will eventually die many decades form now, why on earth would we allow them to engage in activities that will destroy their souls that are eternal?  The Catholic education given in our schools cannot end once the student leaves the school building...it must continue throughout the rest of the day!   This is why I politely remind our parents (okay..not always so politely) that when the absent themselves from Mass on the weekends, they are undoing one of the core reasons we have Catholic Schools.  There can be no mixed message.

I, as a pastor, have absolutely no interest in running a private school.  None.  I am very interested in running a Catholic School.  Catholicism as we rightly teach it is not a light switch we turn on and off as a matter of convenience.  It is meant to inform and effect everything about us.  This is the foremost mission of the Church and any institution that calls itself Catholic.  As Catholics, we must remember, it is not our job to make the the faith more like the world, but to make the world more like our faith.  To do that, we must be armed with truth and not allow ourselves or our children to be influenced by worldly wisdom with its tales of violence, hedonism, materialistic attitudes driven by greed and envy, selfishness, revenge, and its cheap and disposable attitude about the value of life.  We, as adults in the Church, both parents, educators, and clergy are to be the watchmen at the gates and those who train our children when it becomes their turns to be those sentinels.  We have seen what happens when the aforementioned groups fail in these responsibilities, or worse yet, act in union with the enemy and prey upon our youth...we must want what is good and that which faithfully passes on our Catholic faith to the next generation.  That is why we have Catholic schools.

Transference, Barney, and Rebellion: Things to avoid in following God's will

The readings for this week have been so wonderfully apropos for this week where we as a Church remember vocations and pray for them during Vocations Awareness Week. Hopefully this isn't news to you.  The first reading are from I Samuel, with yesterday's being the call of Samuel.  This reading happens to be the 1st reading for this weekend.  While the young Samuel is mistaking the call of God for the voice of the priest, Eli, finally Eli understands that God is calling the boy and tells Samuel to respond with "speak, Lord, you servant is listening."  What a bold statement!  This statement is supposed to be at the heart of every Christian every day.  The responsorial psalm for that day (and coincidentally this weekend as well) has the response of "Here I am, Lord, I come to do your will."  Again, another simple statement that should be at the center of how we live. Were every Catholic to really capture this, all of the problems we experience within the Church would simply dry up.  Vocation crisis? Gone!  Scandals within the Church?  Never would have happened?  Numbers of practicing Catholics dwindling?  Not any more? I could go on and on with this list, the upshot is that if we were to live out these two simple sentences, there would profound change and great good.  So why isn't it happening?

My first guess is a what I would call a simple case of transference.  We become suspect when we hear that we are called to do God's will.  We transfer onto God what He means by that with what we mean by that.  We know that our wills can be awful self-centered.  We know that we can want other people to do our will because it suits us to have them to do so.  In this light, God comes across as a eternal me-monkey  with a colossal ego that needs to be stroked lest He go all Rambo on you.  We assume that God is every bit as self-centered as humanity and bristle at the idea of having to serve such a megalomaniac!   However, God is not such.  Instead of being self-centered, He is other centered, that is, he loves us and wants what is best for us now and for all eternity.  He watches out for us and want to protect us.  When He asks us to do His will, He asks us to be other-centered (that is to be truly loving) as He is and thus to watch out for the true good around us. 

My second guess would be what I call the "Barney Syndrome".  In this scenario we accept that God loves us.  We even believe that God unconditionally loves us and wants what is best.  Where the breakdown starts is that in believing these things we fail to make the jump that we are called to model out behavior on His.  God becomes the Great Enabler.  Instead of "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will", the response becomes "Turn the other way God, I want to do my will!"  God's job is to rubber stamp whatever I want to do.  Furthermore He is suppose to bless it as if I were doing His will!  This God doesn't have a hell because everybody gets into heaven, unless, like, you know, you're like Adolf Hitler and stuff.  The morality bar is set as low as needed to accommodate whatever it is I want to do.  The problem here is that if we enter into a relationship with God, a relationship necessary for heaven, then the love goes both ways. As with a good marriage where the two spouses are actively concerned with the other person's needs , our relationship with God is bound on our looking out for God's will (which as above said, looks out for our good) as He looks out for what we need.  God blesses this.  God, however, is not one to taunted, ignored, or dismissed.  He is not the great enabler.  He allows us to make our choice about whose will we follow and then bear out the consequences of those choices.

My third guess is outright rebellion. In the story of Samuel, Samuel is given to the High Priest, Eli, because Samuel is called to serve the Lord.  Eli has to sons who are priests as well: Phineas and Hophni.  They were self-centered men who has the audacity to steal from God what was His during the sacrifices.  Not only were they indifferent to God, they were outright hostile.  Their response to God wasn't "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" it was "Go away God, I am going to do my will." Phineas and Hophni push away the hand of God because they have no desire for a relationship with God, especially a relationship that will require them to change.  Without God's hand, they are destroyed.  This story is repeated over and over again.  God does not want such things to happen, but He allows the consequences of our choices to happen if we are insistent upon it.  On a slightly separate note: why we think as Americans, that we can push God out of the public sphere, routinely mock Him and those in relationship with Him, replace Him with materialism,  lust for power, hedonism, and materialism, how we can surgically excise from any avenue of our school children's life, mock His existence,  pile corpse upon corpse with our violence, abortion, and disregard for the basic needs of other and then have the audacity to demand that His only job, if He exists at all, is to make happy and bless whatever it is I want...just baffles me!

The point is that we are called to rise above transference,  Barney, and rebellion and follow God in our lives knowing that His will is always oriented towards our collective best interest.  There is no reason to be afraid.  If we want the vocations we collectively need, it will be in having the faith to say "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will."  If we want true peace in our parishes and to be free from scandals of all sort, then again, we will have to conform our will to God's.  If we want true unity and peace in our country, it will come from living, actually living, the Gospel which calls us for defer to each other in imitation of Christ.  If we want strong marriages and family life, then it will only be through this mutual submission of will for the good of others.  God is not a rubber stamp to approve of a life divorced from His will, nor is he a giant purple doofus who enables reckless and selfish behavior, nor is He one who is to mocked.  He wants what is truly good for us and leads us to peace.  We have to want that to!  How will you, the reader, live up to "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" today?  How will your life reflect that?

A True Legacy for our Youth

A few days back I saw the following posting on Facebook, which I reposted, and have thought a great deal about consequently: " We need to teach our daughters how to distinguish between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her .... a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her .... a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly ..... a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her ..... a man who believes he is God's gift to women and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man.....And we need to teach our boys to be THAT man.”  It captured a pre-occupation that I have had for several years now.  We live in a society that teaches our young men that women are something to be manipulated into sexual activity, dominated in life, and discarded when it is no fun anymore.  It has started teaching young women the same thing about how to treat young men.  Furthermore, it teaches women that they merely have to settle for the best that they can hope to get and, if anything, treat their boyfriend or spouse to be as a reclamation project, the human equivalent of a fixer-upper.  I have rarely seen this end well.  As I have told young couples in marriage preparation, “Marriage is not a magic wand that makes all the deficiencies of your future spouse evaporate into the ether.”    By the same token, a man who would not make a good husband will not make a good priest either.
    Our children get swamped with the negative messages about human relationships and sexuality.  The way to reverse the damage is a two pronged approach: to point out and limit their diet of a poisoned message and replace it with a healthy life giving message.  Our parish and our families must act in union with each other to accomplish this.
    On the parish level, we are doing the following.  As all our 9th graders are boys this year, we are using the book, “Be a Man” by Fr. Larry Richards as the text for their education this year.  The book is a great study on what being a Catholic man is about and how being a Catholic man directly effects everything, including how we, as men, treat and view women.  It encourages an embrace of manly virtue and a courageous and selfless lifestyle.  With our confirmation students, we are using Theology of the Body for Teens with Chris Everet to talk about the same issues in a way that they understand that their being a good Catholic reflects in every avenue of their life.   We gave the parents the parents’ handbook so that they may follow up what we do in class.   I cannot encourage this enough.  I am contemplating getting the Theology of the Body for Jr. High, so that we may be able to begin this positive life affirming message earlier.  If anyone would like to help pay for the program, which would be several hundred dollars, and help buy a copy of it for the parish library. I would greatly appreciate it.  The Theology of the Body for Teens is already in the parish library and is frequently out.  Each have a 10-12 lessons set of DVDs, parents guides, and workbook for the youth.  I started using the Theology of the Body for Marriage as the primary tool for our engaged couples.  I really believe that this positive message paired with what I have been saying from the pulpit will hopefully at least provide a lot of seed which we hope will take root.
    On the diocesan level, we began summer camps for our young men and women (camps Maccabee and Siena, respectively) to help our youth understand what it means to be a young Catholic woman or man.  The topic is often brought up in our youth rallies and Confirmation Reflection Days. We believe, as a diocese, that every cent invested in our diocesan youth is a cent invested in the well being of our youth and their futures.  The well being of their future directly effects all of us as these youth will provide the next generation of priestly, religious, and lay leaders.  Giving them all that we can to promote a healthy self-identity and a healthy way of treating one another only bodes well for our collective futures.
    As I alluded to earlier, parents must be partners with the Church in this.  When your children were baptized, you vocally accepted the responsibility of bringing them  in the ways of the faith.  This is more than giving them a set of data to memorize, but instructing them in a relationship based in the love of God and neighbor.  Parents should be and can be the most effective teachers in their children in the ways of the faith.  What is provided in the home will be one of the primary nourishments of our youth.  This means several things.  First, I would assume no loving parent would purposely feed their children poison, even if that poison tasted good.  Poison is poison regardless of the way it tastes. We have to monitor what our children ingest in this culture as most of it is poisonous.  For example, I can think of two shows off the top of my head that are or were very popular: Two and Half Men and Sex and the City, both built on the premise that the opposite sex is something to be manipulated, used, and dumped at will.  So many shows on TV have the same message as do many of our movies.  The same message is dominant in music, regardless of the genre.  A steady diet of these things does have an effect on our youth in showing them what the world considers normative behavior.  It can be no surprise that our youth will act out on these premises and find out that the consequences of that acting out cannot be wrapped up quickly and without lifelong harm.  I know it is not popular, but parents must be as vigilant with what their children entertain themselves with as much as they would with what their child eats.  Poison should be recognized for what it is and dealt with accordingly.
    Along these lines, we should make sure that our youth are warned about the great scourge that is pornography.  Pornography, by its very nature, teaches to reduce another human being to a thing for self-satisfaction.  It is a cancer.  Because of the internet, it is also all too readily available.  Pornography isn’t bad because the human body is something ugly and sinful, it is wrong because the human body is good and beautiful; pornography debases that beauty, robs the dignity of another (even if they are offering up that dignity), and teaches the person to turn themselves and others into nothing more than a means of pleasure.  It is a devastating lesson that has horrible long term results.  Parents should treat porn with the ferocity they would treat a criminal trying to break into their home to harm their children.  Porn can have no harbor in any Catholic home!  I know they may not like it, but monitor what your child sees on the internet.  There are far too many wolves more than happy to expose your children to truly awful things.
    What we teach our children is the legacy they will pass on to their children.  We should want what is best for them and protect them from what would harm them.  Let us work together towards this common good so that we raise godly young men and women.  No woman or man should have to settle for anything less that the dignity that God has created them to experience.   Let us protect that dignity and raise our youth to do the same.

Thoughts arising from an untimely death

This morning, we did at our school what we do every 1st Friday.  WE move the Blessed Sacrament from the Adoration Chapel were it sits waiting for those to come in for Perpetual Adoration, into the main church and onto the main altar.  During that time we make the opportunity for Confession for our grade school students as they come to spend some time in Eucharistic Adoration.  Since I take the visiting priest’s confessional, as a courtesy to the other priest that comes to help, I have only the option of anonymous (behind the screen).  Occasionally, a student will come in and step around the screen.  That happened more than a few times today.  One of the young men came around and stared right into my eyes the whole time.  I was a bit taken aback.  It was nothing he did.  Last night I read an obituary of a young man from a former parish who had died in a freak tractor accident.  They had a picture of the young man, and I swear, the boy standing in front of me could have been him 10 years ago.  My head has been in the wake service of the young man to which I went a few days back.  I had this sudden urge to take the boy, wrap him in bubble wrap, and tell his parents to never let him out of their sight.  This preoccupied my mind as each student came in.  The young man who had died had been in my instruction at one time.  He was a fine young man who was mature and wise beyond his years more often than not. When I looked into the eyes of his parents at the wake and saw two people who had just lost their only son and just looked weary, it broke my heart.  When I saw his grandmother, a very dear sweet woman, who also looked so very tired, and saw his aunt, who couldn’t stop crying, it just was heart wrenching.  Although the pastoral care of this family belonged to another, these were people I cared about and to see them in such pain was troubling.

Of course, we can’t bubble wrap our children and keep them forever at our sides.  They grow.  We always pray that they grow strong and wise and live up to their full potentials as human beings and as people of faith.  We have to count on their learning those lessons well and being ready to answer for  how they lived their lives when their day comes to pass from this world.  We will fidget and groan as we watch them make mistakes and even mess their lives up entirely.  But there is always a hope that tomorrow they will come to their sense.  As this death this week reminded me, as does every funeral I have, all of us will come to a point where today is the last day of our life.  So what do we do with it? We’ll not be able to pass though our days here without experiencing some pain, disappointment, and grief.  It is part of life. It occurred to me this evening as I was pray Evening Prayer that while do not have any real control over when or how we die, we do have tremendous control over how we live.  I got to thinking about what I would say to every student I have had over the years.  It would go something like this.

I really believe that every single person that has ever been born has the deep inset desire to be remembered; a consequence of having made one’s mark in the world.  What will be your mark?  Will it be positive, negative, or barely visible?  Will it change other people’s lives for the better or will other people be sorry they ever met you?  I do not think anyone wants to be the person that makes other people’s lives hellish, but so often will do so because it is easier that make another person’s life better.  You were born into this world, created by God, to make other people’s lives better and be a positive force for good.  I know that is hard because it requires you to be selfless and exhibit self-control.  I know the temptations to be selfish and out of control are overwhelming.  I  cannot speak to being a young lady, but I can to being a young man.  I know the temptation to strip the dignity away from a woman is ever present.  I know society expects you to be promiscuous even if it later condemns you for doing so.  I know you are told over and over again that you have to rely on your physical prowess in sports to get anywhere in life.  I know you are told that religion is for the stupid, for children, or for the women…but that men do not need a God other than themselves.  I know you are tempted to party hard, drink hard, ingest whatever mind altering substance happens to be around.  I know you are told to ignore whatever emptiness might come from this.  I know as you get older that the definition of success comes from the accrual of power and wealth. I know you struggle with wanting to be a real man in a world that is quite content for you to remain a boy.  Boys are easy to control.  I know it because I have been there or still get tempted towards these things.  I know it sucks and that it easier to give into rather than rise above it.

Remember, though, each of us is only given one chance at this life.  We don’t get to redo it.  What we have at the end of our lives is the finished product of our lives; an accumulation of our choices.  Choose wisely, knowing that you are held responsible for what you do.  Be selfless, courageous, and strong.  Do not waste your life on numbing it.  Make your mark in such a positive way as to make a permanent positive change.  God gives you so many graces, charisms, talents, and abilities for this purpose; He expects a return on His investment.  Be thankful for the blessings in your life; never allow envy or greed be what motivates you.  Protect the dignity of those around you, don’t rip it away through lust.  Treat your life and your faith as the precious gifts they are.  While you gave neither of these to yourself, you are responsible for how you develop them. Please stay away from risky and dangerous behavior!  In 14 years I have buried far too many young men and women and had to witness the crushing and haunting look of an inconsolable parent, mourning the loss of their child.  I can assure you, that look will stay with you for awhile.  So many times the deaths were completely avoidable.  There are many people out there that actively care about you and are concerned for your well being; people who want to see each one of you grow up into a great and strong adult.  I know, because I am one of them.

You have to want this for yourself. I know this.  I have tried to fill the void we are born with so many things that the world says will work, but don’t.  I have tried money, power, drinking, and other things to fill the void and they failed.  I know faith has provided for me not only a firm foundation from which I can weather any storm and find comfort in the bleakest of moments, but helps me to become all that I am created to be.  The man who has faith has nothing to fear, not even death.  Faith is all that we get to take with us past this life, where our faith is and how we actively allowed it to be developed will be shown in how we acted.  Choose well.  May each person who reads live a long happy life. Be all that you are created to be and do not allow any fear of any person rule you.  In the end you are answerable to God and God alone.  May each of you hear when that time comes :“Well done my good and faithful servant.”

Some troubling question about Catholic Youth Formation

This certainly is not going to be a popular subject, but I am going to ask questions that are going to be uncomfortable and for which I really have no answers.  I am going to use my own diocese as an example.  First, let me say that I am a big supporter of Catholic Schools and especially those to whom I have been assigned.  Second, I think that youth formation is one of the most important things we do in a parish after the sacraments.  In fact, I think it absolutely critical for the hope of the future of our faith and its continuance from generation to generation.  The following are questions, musings, and perhaps grasping at straws to figure out what is next.

Several years back I was at a meeting for pastors and principals where the presenter was extolling the importance of Catholic education.  In the talk, he mentioned that neither of his children practiced the Catholic faith anymore, but the formation they got was wonderful.  I know many of my brother priests had a moment of cognitive dissonance.  One would assume if the formation were wonderful that his children would still not just be practicing Catholics but actively involved as well.  I was talking to a friend who was at a Catholic High School graduation where the principal was going on and on about what fine young Catholics the current graduating class is while knowing that about only 30% of the Catholic students were at Mass on the weekend.  All totaled throughout this diocese ( a diocese of around 90,000 Catholics with 3 Catholic High Schools, 38 parochial grade schools, 100+ PSR programs, almost as many Confirmation programs, several parishes with full time paid youth ministers and many more with volunteer youth ministers) will spend upwards of 30 million dollars on our youth this year alone.  Untold hours of volunteering, fundraisers, and such will happen.  Many parishes will have to make very hard decisions about non-school activities because of tight budgets. In this diocese, we run above the national average of Mass attendance (nationally @30%, in the diocese of Jefferson City it is around 45-50%.  But giving is usually just at or below what parishes need to pay bills.  It is not as if we are not making an effort.  Just for some perspective: I have been a priest for 14 years; this means in my short time as a priest in this smallish diocese, we have spent $420,000,000 dollars on youth education and formation.

Yet the vast majority of weddings I do the couples are co-habitating. I see a very small percentage of them at Mass on any regular basis.  I am not saying this to condemn them, only stating facts.  I can count on not seeing at least 50% of my confirmation students after they are confirmed, and about that many during the summer vacation break.  The number of priestly and religious vocations coming out of our Catholic schools is anemic at best, and this is with a full time vocation director who spends time in each of the schools every year, in the high schools frequently, and is never at an end of finding new ways to get the message out.  I am fortunate in that I will say I see 75% of our grade school students every weekend, but I know this is not the norm.  I have seen parents scratch their heads...good stable catholic parents...wondering what happened; why is their child not following their example and not listening to what they know their children are being taught.  We could only muster less than 100 youth for the summer programs we have...less than 100 from the entire diocese.  It is particularly hard to get young men interested in anything having to do with faith and religion. 

These are not bad kids.  I sometimes look at what they say on facebook and see what their attitudes about faith become and it makes me weep.  I see popularity and partying become the foci of life.  I see dedication to sports and other activities crowd out faith.  I see kids ridicule the one who actually does take faith seriously.  We are losing them in so many ways.

Some will say that it is because of the horrid catechesis.  Maybe, I know many catechetical series are variations of Christianized narcissism where the value of anything is measured by how it makes one feel.  But I know there are very good series out there as well that are being used.  It does not seem to make a difference. I have seen dynamic youth ministry and lethargic youth ministry without noticing a huge difference in the majority of a parish's youth.  I have seen fine young Catholics come from apathetic and even antipathetic homes and apathy generate from strong Catholic families.  I have seen fine young Catholic men run away like they were on fire when a mention of the possibility of a priestly vocation is mentioned.  So, after 14 years and 420 million dollars, after seeing heroic and dedicated volunteers, priests, religious, and lay people give tremendous amounts of time and energy to our youth, after seeing a product (for lack of a better word) that does not measure up to the immense amount of time, energy, and resources, I have to wonder what is going on and how do we turn it around.  Turn it around we must! (Sorry for that Yoda moment) These youth are the pool from which the next generation of parochial leaders, parents, priests, and religious will be drawn.  How do we compete with (or more to the point combat) their culture of instant gratification, focus on only today, consumption with self-esteem, and engaging in behaviors that only numb the emptiness and isolation felt when these foci fail to produce on any lasting basis?  I am not willing to write a single student off that I have ever had...not a one...not the ones who have left, grown cynical and bitter at life, not those who see faith as a childhood whim with no depth, not a one who prefers to be drunk, high, and sexually active.  I can't.  None of us should.  I truly care about these young men and women and want what is best for them, even if they are misled about what is best for them, or could not care less about what happens to them.  I am happy we are starting to make inroads in my parish, but it is the smallest of inroads and one that is very fragile.

So what do I do?  I pray.  I pray a lot.  Mostly for guidance.  Like so many things as pastor, I still feel like a newbie priest, trying to figure out with the grace of God the next step.  I make an effort.  I care.  Whether that is enough, I do not know.  But maybe the answer is to continue trying and challenging.  Spiritus supplicet. But perhaps it will take all of us actively praying, encouraging, and setting good examples. There is an answer.  Christ does not ask us to do something then leave us high and dry without His help to accomplish it.  There you go, tonight's rambling.

Providing for Future Generations

I have it heard so many times in the last year or so that the generation in school now will probably be the first generation in some time in American History who will not have it better than their parents.  Increasing debt, both personal and national, paired with slimmer job prospects, skyrocketing education costs, and moral decay are all conspiring against those in our future.  The cause of this comes from the same root: we do not sacrifice anymore. In a society that prefers to be served and not to serve, the "I want it all" attitude prevails.  Unfortunately other people, especially those placed in our care and those who will be placed in their care, will suffer the consequences. This same fact has plagued us in so many ways, in our world and in our church.

The unwillingness to sacrifice comes from a very dark place in the human soul, a place of rebellion against God.  It follows the attitude of Satan, whom in Paradise Lost John Milton writes: "Ego non serviam!" "I will not serve."  Sacrifice is necessary for service, but sacrifice is willing to put the needs of another before oneself.  It is seen in a good parent who willingly gives up pleasures they might enjoy, or even personal necessities, to make sure their child has what they need.  This isn't just a matter of things, but of time and energy as well. Where sacrifice is absent, however, absent also is the love of God.  Without the love of God, our projects are castles of sand built on sand on the shore of the sea. We are finding out in this culture that living for oneself is costing us dearly, not only cheating future generations, but also ending in our own destruction as well.  This society, a society that consumes like locusts to satiate its materialistic longings, is a society that shows all the marks of a society in decline: moral decay, promiscuous licentiousness,  an over emphasis on leisure and sports, the overindulgence of instincts, and a declining emphasis on the spiritual.   Too many people think all is lost so they might as well party till the fall comes.  This is nonsensical. 

The virtue of self-control and sacrifice, also known as temperance, helps us to be wise about the expenditure of our time and our energy and do so with the love of God infusing our efforts.  Thus temperance is where we begin.  How is it that I can use what I have to benefit others?  This is particularly the case in tithing.  In tithing, we make a sacrifice of self for the good others.  WE help out our local parish so that the mission of Christ might be able to come about in its fullness.  So many parishes limit what they do because the monies are not there to do so.  Unfortunately the group that needs it most is the group most often treated minimally: our teenagers.  So many times we reduce our Catholic stuff to maybe an hour for Mass on the weekend and maybe an hour for education ( if the teens are not in Catholic Schools) and presume that this is enough or that even this is a colossal burden. If we were to dedicate just the minimum time for masses every year, we are talking a maximum of 56 hours out of the 8760 hours of a year! (.006%!)  If we dedicate the normal time allotted for youth education (non parochial school students) one would add another 38 hours of the 3760 hours in the year for a grand total of 94 hours a year (1%) for their religious formation. That is what we provide for these youth to grow up to be holy young men and women?!  They will spend more time cleaning up, watching TV, playing video games, on sports, on school, on jobs, on sleeping, on partying.  Youth activities, even education, are commonly held in much lower esteem than school activities and trying to plan for church youth activities is like trying to steer a Cooper Mini through traffic  during the Indianapolis 500.  In case we are wondering why there is such a dearth in priestly and religious vocations....  It is time for some temperance.  That doesn't mean we quit doing these things, just in appropriate moderation that reflect our priorities as Catholics.  If a child never learns sacrifice and having to make hard choices based on good principles and priorities, they will be ill suited for the future.

How do I serve?  How do I encourage service?  How do I embrace sacrifice for others?  The more we get this and act on it, the better suited we are for the future.  We can see what living for yourself has wrought in this society.  We can do better.  Our faith demands better.  Maybe the sacrifice begins with getting our priorities straight.  there is a great saying by CS Lewis, " Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in, aim at earth and you will get neither." We are transient beings whose end is not here and now.  Whether we choose to believe that or not does not change this.Aim eternally and let your priorities reflect that!  If we do not, then not only will we lose eternal life but this life will be reduced to the nonsense and pain of greed and envy so prevalent in our world right now.  Find ways to serve. Find ways to serve as a family.  See the 94 hours as a jumping off point for an entire life and not hoop to jump through to satisfy an unfair God.  If we are to ever get the priests and religious we need, it will start from the nurturing of service.  If Jesus says about Himself that "The Son of Man came to serve and not to be served", can we as His followers profess any less?  Nurture service and its attendant sacrifice and we will be providing well for future generations in a way that stockpiles of wealth can never do.

Tragic! Just Tragic and sickening!

the Pushing of the Next Domino 

This is just tragic on so many levels.  Where is the reporting on these things?! This cannot be allowed to fly under the radar and leave our children open to this vile and life destroying behavior.  Pedophiles destroy young lives every day and this behavior cannot be given credence or legitimacy.  that talks would even being seriously considered to  drop pedophilia from the DSM is unthinkable and will lead to a very dark place for our children and their futures.  This cannot stand.

A not so subtle challenge

It is easy, I know, to critique something we see and either believe or know to be wrong.  Within the Church this is especially true.  We can see many disturbing developments: fewer and fewer go to Mass every Sunday and Holy Day, even fewer go to Confession on any kind of regular basis, most Catholics know precious little about the content and purpose of our faith, fewer of our young are retaining their faith, we have nowhere the number or quality of clergy we need, the religious life is in wholesale free fall in many religious communities, more parishes are closing, fewer baptisms, fewer marriages, more Catholics have co-opted worldly sexual mores, and the list goes on and on.  There is no shortage of things to bemoan.

 It is worth considering that most of this decline is in the 1st world nations (North America, Australia, Europe) (cf. cara.georgetown.edu/CARAServices/requestedchurchstats.html) while the opposite seems to be true for Africa, Asia, and to some degree Central and South America.  Were the culprit Vatican II, as so many want to blame, one would expect an across the board free fall.  This is not the case.  Something is distinctly different in the 1st world that is affecting the Church profoundly.  As the overwhelming amount of both laity and clergy in the 1st world are from the 1st world, it is only natural that the clergy of the West would come into seminaries, houses of formations, and religious orders influenced by the culture in which they grew.  It has become a downward spiral.  So here is my theory...for what it is worth...and perhaps some ways to fix it.

I am only speaking to the church where the decline is in effect.  I am a child of the 70's and 80's.  I know well the constant message that is continually and feverishly pumped into us: live for yourself!  Culturally, we are a rather narcissistic lot. We judge the efficacy of anything by what pleasure it gives me or how I feel about something.  Even when we are altruistic, it is because we get a good feeling about ourselves. We are told that life's goal is about comfort, pleasure, and ease. We are used to being so stimulated by outside sources on  an ongoing basis, that if outside stimuli fail , we deem whatever we experience as a failure.  We become so focused on the individual that we forget that we actually are a social being and that our actions bear directly upon the lives of others.  One who lives for themselves will rarely want or believe they need an outside force pressing upon them to restrain themselves, be it government, church, or God.  The first real culprit to the decline of Mass attendance is far too many of us simply do not feel we need God or do not want any institution telling us that there is more to life than ease, pleasure, and comfort.  We will turn to religion if the world fails to provide, but more often than not, the turning towards quickly becomes a turning away when the individual becomes challenged towards a permanent and profound change of heart.  Witness what happened after 9/11.

In our self-centeredness we prefer to be served and not to serve.  So many who do come to church have this mentality; I am there to be entertained, to have an emotional response, or to feel accepted no matter how I wish to live. We want all kinds of ministries and programs but want someone else to volunteer.  Trying to get volunteers in an average parish is a maddening exercise!  God and faith, in this mindset,  are supposed to enable behavior and not challenge it.  So many times I see people bemoan that priests don't regularly preach about contraception, homosexuality, and such.  I willing to bet that these are people who are not themselves struggling with such things.  I have noticed what happens when someone touches a spiritual spot they don't want challenged, the reaction is dismissive and derisive!  Normally people are happy to hear homilies or sermons that chastise someone else's behavior and leaves them feeling comfortable about their own lives.  This is human nature.

We loathe inconvenience in this culture. Everything needs to be quick, effortless, and satisfying.  It is why politics has become a collection of skin deep sound bytes.  It is why people like the quick to learn slogans (advertisers and politicians count on this).  It is why our diets have gone to pot and obesity is on the rise. We want the things we feel of lesser value to be quick so that we may return back to the ease, comfort, and pleasure we so crave.  This is very evident in Mass.  Last Pentecost, I had a gentleman walk into church, as I was greeting people, who looked me right in the eye and directed me to hurry this thing up. I thought, well, this guy ( not a parishioner of mine, thanks be to God) had picked the wrong feast, the wrong parish, and the wrong pastor to tell that to.  We priest often joke to ourselves that we might just as well put a drive through on the side of the church.  I was interning in a parish, frequented by tourists, were I saw people in very expensive cars drive up 40 minutes late, get out of their car (leaving it running), getting into the Communion line, receiving Communion, and walking directly back out again and return to their cars and drive away smiling!  They never even hit a pew.  I see the dismal response we often get in most parishes for adult education, use of the Perpetual Adoration Chapel, weekday Masses, Holy Day masses, youth activities, and such.  I know people who will avoid going to a particular Mass because that Mass has the Corpus Christi Procession afterward or some other special thing (really seen in attitudes about Easter Vigil) and "well, that just goes beyond that 1hour (including travel time), Father, that I have allotted to Mass this week."  Now, I have been blessed to be in a parish where these attitudes are quickly changing and even were challenged well before I got here.  But can we believe for a moment a parish where these attitudes prevail will provoke vocations, conversions, or true worship?   If we treated sports like we treat religion, the major leagues of every sport would fold tomorrow!   But sports are fun, though...much more fun that religion!

This leads to a deepening in the downward spiral in that so many priests cater to this attitude, many times choosing a safe side to be on.  It becomes a matter of which group happens to agree with me or which group will give the lesser grief.  As these clerics all sat out in the pews at one time, they have seen their pastors do this, have seen the various sides compete for attention in the pews and then in the seminary, and then have to preach  to this same lot as a priest.  They have seen priest maligned regularly for saying unpopular things and see priests regularly vilified in the media.  I know so many young priest who came out of the gate on fire for our faith only to watch them get bashed about by parishioners who endlessly critique everything about them.  It is sad that those who support the faith are not nearly as vocal as the critics of the faith.  The temptation to cater what is popular is overwhelming.  People forget that every cleric is a human being subject to the same temptations as anyone else and that the temptation towards ease (or at least less grief) can be a powerful thing.  I know this because there are days I struggle with this. 

We priests also know that most young men and their parents would sooner send themselves or their son to a fiery death rather than see them enter the seminary, let alone get ordained.  I have joked that the quickest way to get a teenage or twenty something young man to flee from Church is to ask them if they have ever considered priesthood.  Actually it is true.  I have seen parents act as if I just asked their son to kill puppies for a living by mentioning priesthood as a possibility.  When I re-entered the seminary, many of my friends and family had tried to dissuade me from the seminary because they thought the priesthood was beneath me and a waste of my talents.  Think we'll get good strong vocations in that atmosphere?  The bottom line is we cannot offer nothing but critiques and expect that anything will change.

Maybe the best place to start about what to do with our faith is to ask the questions: What do I know, actually know, about the Catholic Faith?  Where is it I need to change or grow?  Where have I resented being told to change?  What is it that I positively contribute to helping the Church continue the mission of Jesus Christ?  Is my faith too much about me and my personal likes?  Am I willing to take wholly unpopular stances in order to do what is right?  How do I serve?  What is my attitude about worship of God?  Do I make a profound effort?  Am I willing to endure hardship, inconvenience, sacrifice, or suffering in order to what is right?  Conversion of a people starts with one individual conversion at a time.  The sooner we learn that God is not to be at our convenience, something that has to fit into our schedule full of more important things, the sooner we will see a wholesale turnaround in our parishes in this country.  Nothing changes positively by sitting on the sidelines complaining.  Worried about access to the sacraments?  When was the last time you spoke to a young man about priesthood or supported a young man who has thought about such things?  Have you ever spoke to your children about such things or do the only time they hear about a priest is when someone complains about what a dirt rotten so and so Father is!? These are just a few suggestions, hopefully you are getting the point.

We live in a culture lost in a desert of unfulfillment...a people who are finding the emptiness of living for comfort, pleasure, and ease.  WE need to get our act together.  The grace of God is there in great abundance, but we have to have to get to the point where it is not just about me and what makes me feel good.

Same Base, Different Building: Priest, Husband, Dad

18 years ago next week, I re-entered the seminary.  I say re-enter because I had left twice before, the 2nd of those two times I left in such anger that I swore I would never enter the grounds of a seminary in my life again.  I really need to watch my use of absolutes.  My re-entrance was less than spectacular; an act of reluctance and hoping once and for all that someone would tell me that priesthood was not my calling.  After a semester in which I piled on damage upon myself, I went home for Christmas break and ran into my ex who informed me that we could pick up where we left off; she was a wonderful young lady whom I could see myself marrying and fathering a large family with.  When I left for St Louis again it was to pack up and come back to New York.  I knew in my heart that what I was doing was selfish and coming from a reluctance to commit.  But at the heart of that reluctance was a very deep question: Why would I feel so drawn to marriage and family life yet also feel called to the priesthood?  They seemed mutually exclusive terms.  The retreat was immediately after Christmas break and out of my generosity to God (I'm kidding) I gave Him the retreat as an opportunity to convince me to stay.  Archbishop Harry Flynn (then the Bishop of Lake Charles [or was it Lafayette] in Louisiana..later Archbishop of St Paul) gave the retreat.  He was a former seminary rector of Mt St Mary in Emmitsburg MD.  He was awesome.  During one of his conferences, he offered opportunity for 1 on 1 meetings.  I took him up on the invitation.  My question was simple:  How could I feel such a draw to the priesthood and marriage at the same time?  His answer was simple and has taken me years to fully understand: "If you would not make a good husband or dad, you will not make a good priest.  It is the same foundation, different building." This response, by the way, would give birth to what would become Camp Maccabee.

Archbishop Flynn was absolutely right.  I have come to appreciate that in greater ways as I continue to mature in the priesthood of Jesus Christ.  The same foundation consists of (and this is not an exhaustive list) the following: an ability to commit to something other than oneself, the courage to stand up for what is good and right and protect against what is not, the ability to stand one's ground, the ability to put those placed in your care first, the willingness to sacrifice and even suffer for those placed in your care, the ability to be a man of God and a man of prayer, the ability to provide what is good, and the willingness to give example by word and deed.  Although these traits are not exclusively masculine, no man can be a man at all without them.

In marriage preparation, I remind couples that when they commit themselves to each other in marriage, they are from that point putting the other first.  Jobs and careers, money and power, prestige and reputation, friends, extended family and even children come after their commitment to each other.  That primary bond influences and enriches all their other relationships.  After God, the relationship of their mutual bond as husband and wife comes first.  For my life as a priest, the same is true.  After God, my full commitment and duty is bound to the People of God and the Catholic Church.  My commitment to them must come first at all times.  As much as a husband and wife are called to profoundly self give for the sake of the other, so I as a priest am called to give myself totally for the good of the Church.  As a priest that means that ministry always comes first.  As a pastor, that means those placed under my pastoral care have the full right to attention, charity, sacramental ministry, and instruction.  That extends to other duties to which I am assigned.  It is as bad for a priest to see pastoral ministry as a burden as it is for a husband to see his wife as 'the old ball and chain'.  A man who lives for himself and his needs is no more suited for priesthood than he is for marriage!

There is a reason why parishioners call their priests 'Father'.  It is a term acknowledging the responsibility that this man has within the parish.  A good father provides what is good and true for their children.  He protects them from what would harm them.  He realizes that he is not his child's buddy, but his dad, which means he will have to challenge behavior, correct behavior, but provide an righteous alternative as well.  A good dad is interested in making his children into good men and women who will have a solid foundation  for life.  He looks out for the spiritual, physical, and mental well being.  He provides, with his wife, a rock solid foundation for his children to grow into outstanding adults.  everything I have just said about a dad applies fully to a priest.  I have to be as vigilant and wise with my parishioners as a good dad is with his children.  Both of us get the ability to do this from the same source: the grace of God. This grace gives us the base to be the Person of Christ within our respective calls.  Neither a dad nor a priest is called to be an overlord; children are not the dad's serfs, parishioners are not the pastor's serfs.

There is such a need for both good husbands/dads and good priests.  In our commitment phobic society, it is getting harder to find either.  A lack of commitment is usually a very nasty sign of a present reality within oneself, the trait of selfishness.  For men (or women for that matter as well) selfishness shows a profound lack of maturity.  Boys are selfish...men are not.  Men look beyond themselves to the need of others...boys don't.  There are a lot of a lot of chronologically older men who are still boys.  They cannot commit and will abandon the commitments they make when they become challenging or difficult.  We need better.

Camp Maccabee was formed to address these things while the young men were still young.  It was formed to give them the tools to help guide them from the destructive selfishness of boyhood into the selfless bravery of manhood.  We speak of honor, respect, self-control, and holiness as the keys for a firm foundation regardless of the particular vocation to which they may be called.  Why?  The same foundation is needed either way.  Those four traits must be driven into young men by their parents as well...especially sons from their dads.  If we are to look into the future with any sense of hope about the state of the Church and the state of the married life, it will come from our cooperating with the grace of God and helping our young men to be men...not boys of this world but men of God.

A Happy Kind of Tired

This last week, I and 12 campers and 10 other staff took off for the far corner of the Diocese of Jefferson City down in Hickory County for the 3rd annual Camp Maccabee.  This camp was founded to instill a strong sense of Catholic masculinity in our future generations.  In the back of my mind, for years, has been a question that has stemmed from priestly ministry: how do we prepare our youth for being a Catholic adult in a world that is quite content to keep them children?  Now, I know nothing about being a woman...but being a man in this world, that I know a bit about.  On a chance, I was driving with Fr Dave Veit down in the Steeleville area of Missouri and we got to talking about camps and he mentioned there was this rustic resort, Eaglehurst Ranch, run by Catholics and with a Catholic ethos about it and we got to talking about wouldn't it be great to have a camp there to center on Catholic Masculinity.  WE talked to Fr Joe Corel, vocation director of the diocese and the unnamed camp was born.

The camp's name was important.  It sets the tone.  I scanned my memory for men who exhibited great virtue and strength in the face of incredible odds.  I remembered the story from the Old Testament of Judas Maccabeus.  Judas' father, Matthias, has started the Hasmonean Revolt against the Greeks who were looking to completely destroy any and all foreign cultures within the empire, including Judaism.  Judas became the revolt's greatest and first general who not just fought the Greek armies but recaptured Jerusalem and fixed up the temple after it had been desecrated.  In my mind, I saw our secular society as much against both our Catholic Identity and against classical masculinity.  I was seeing this in wedding preparations with overgrown boys and the women who were settling for them, in annulment proceedings where the couple found out the wedding wasn't a magic wand that made immaturity disappear,  and it seminary recruitment and seeing just the overall lack of maturity.  Something had to change and our young men needed a way to understand the call God gives us as men.  The name Camp Maccabee and its mission were fully born.

Both Fr Joe and I had read John Eldridge's books (Wild at Heart) and thought that we could surely give it a Catholic flavor and run with its themes.  IN the first two years we focused on the 4 cardinal virtues.  This year we focused on honor, respect, self-control and holiness as the essential traits of a good Catholic man.  The days were to be filled with outdoor activities and the nights with a retreat aspect.  The campers go to Mass, the summit of our grace and strength, every day.  We pray the Liturgy of the Hours (Morning and Evening Prayer, Compline).  They have a holy hour in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament with Confessions available.  They learn that to be a true man is to be a man of God and a man of prayer. 

I have just returned from our third summer of this camp.  It was awesome.  WE changed the venues.  The young men went on a float trip, learned to tie flies and fly fish, went to Camp Windmere ( a Baptist Camp that is awesome...why can't we have something like that?) and did exercises in trust and zip-lining.  They heard talks on the four above mentioned topics and also on Christian Courtship and Theology of the Body.  The staff and campers bonded well; all in all a great experience.  But as we were out in 100+ degree heat at times, it is a bit exhausting.  Today I am feeling that happy kind of tired; the kind that comes from seeing God's Spirit powerfully in play and allowing myself to be challenged by the talks as well.  I am already looking forward to next year!