Today I celebrate 15 years of ordination. I am celebrating it! As I look back on the last 15 years of being a Catholic priest, I look at one heck of a journey. There have been extraordinary highs and gut wrenching lows. The seminary did the best it could to prepare me with a base of knowledge, spirituality, and human formation to help me meet the road as it unfolded over the years. To be honest, I came out of the seminary all wild eyed and ready to proclaim, serve, and restore. I came in with a profound ( or so I thought at the time) desire to serve. I thought I knew it all and what the people wanted. I thought. It is not that I was horribly wrong or off base, it is just that I had no idea of the magnitude of what lay ahead. Thankfully, God has always moved my heart to engage Him and His people and to keep trying to adapt without losing anything of a true Catholic priestly identity. That openness has lead to a wealth of epiphany moments. I wish to share some of the bigger ones.
1: What I actually know about God, faith, and Catholicism is little. It is not through lack of trying. I am a rather well read person who always believes there is always more that I can and need to learn. Content wise, I probably do know more than the average person, but is like being a scientist, the more you study the more we know how little we know. It is a given that we simply cannot come to know everything about God; we struggle with just the tidbit He gives us through Divine Revelation. 15 years of preaching on the Scriptures almost everyday and I still am amazed at how many layers there are and how much more there is just on the surface. 15 years and I have yet to grow tired of preaching and studying the Scriptures because it is like a multi-faceted gem with an infinite numbers of sides; each begging to be examined and integrated. The depths and power of faith, I have come to find out, will go as deep as we allow them. Because it is based in God, the experience of faith and grace is boundless. The more I experience, the more I know that is still left unexamined. The depths of the theology, philosophy, logic, and wisdom present in Church teachings is profound. Some of the greatest minds of history help in reflecting upon Christ and what the Christ event fully means. I am a smart guy, but I am not St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. John Chrysostom, or any of the other great minds that have populated our teaching landscape. I read the writings of the great Fathers and mystics and realize just how little I know. I like to think that my desire to keep knowing and delving deeper into the mysteries of the faith is pleasing to God. It is a lifetime endeavor. It is a perpetual challenge.
2: The People of God don't need another Savior. We already have one. The Catholic Church existed long before I became a priest and will be here long after I depart from this life. My role is to point to THE Savior. I have found out that this is far from easy. It is more than using the right sequence of words, it is by living a correct example. That is difficult for me. I think the easiest trap for any cleric to fall into is that trap of hypocrisy. It is easy to preach love, mercy, forgiveness, patience, love of God and love of neighbor; it is much harder to live, especially knowing that my parishioners have the right to be able to see me living that example. It has meant that I have had to wildly reign in my temper, a temper that has gotten me into much trouble. The first time I lost my patience with a parishioner, it hit me after I was done of the potentially devastating effect of the Roman Collar. I became aware that when I lost my patience, it just wasn't me as a person, but it came across as the entirety of the Roman catholic Church, if not Christ Himself, coming down on the person. I shudder to think how many people I might well have driven away, how many vocations I might have crushed, how many good souls were rightfully scandalized. I look back at those 2 or 3 incidents and still feel deep regret and sorrow. As I have grown, my temperament has settled and my anger is usually saved for people who cut me off in traffic (and yes, I know I must work on that as well).
3: I am called 'Father' for a reason. This realization has grown so much stronger over the past few years. When we started Camp Maccabee some years back, it was with the understanding that all the same things needed to be a good dad and husband were also needed to be a good priest. Archbishop Flynn told me that in a one on one conference during a retreat my 1st year in theology. that conversation was probably one of the most significant of my life. It took me almost 20 years to unpack that. My role in a parish is that of a father. It is my duty to provide from the wealth of our faith and to lead others into a deeper relationship with the God who entrusted me with their care. The same can be said of dads and their children. It is my duty to nurture and maintain union built upon stewardship and selflessness, so that each member of the parish knows they are loved, wanted, and needed as part of this parish family. I use the term 'parish family' not in some sappy sense of forced fellowship of people who would otherwise have no connection, but in the same dynamic that Christ did when He used familial terms to describe the relationship He has with us, we have with the Father, and that we have with each other. It is not my job to dominate. It seems it would be easier if I tried that, but I know it would undo everything and drive off wide swaths of the family entrusted to my pastoral care. It is a constant source for internal dialogue and external whining. I know that I am far from being that ideal father.
4: The people don't need to know what I think, they need to know the truth. So many times people have been confused because clerics have come down like Moses from Mt Sinai with their own slant or opinion on the teachings of the Church. It creates great confusion and invites division. My opinion saves no one. My opinion is not synonymous with Divine Revelation. My opinion can dilute the Gospel. I will be held responsible for that. I am well aware of that. In fact, it frightens me. One of my pet peeves is being lied to because when I am lied to, I can not make reasonable or correct decisions; it is hard to build decisions on a lie. If I dilute the Gospel, I present a deceit and force other people who may not know better to build decisions on those deceits. The reason I read so much is because I want to be as sure as I can that I am presenting the truth and giving those entrusted to my care a solid foundation. Sometimes the truth can be challenging and provoking. In fact, the vast majority of the time it is. The truth always provokes us to a deeper and greater relationship with God and with one another. The truth challenges our bad habits and favorite sins. I cannot tell people a deceit in hopes of not hurting their feelings, or not making them angry with me, or in hopes of not losing money in the collection. It is hard and the temptation to take the easy road and say what people want to hear (or what I want to hear) it ever-present.
5: I wouldn't give this up for anything. Even in the incredibly dark days of 2002 when the sex scandals broke and priests that I not only knew, but admired as well, I had no intention of leaving. There were days when I was weary. There still are. There are still days of great frustration, but isn't that true for everyone? However, those days are greatly outnumbered by the great days, the powerful days, and the truly spiritual days. The schedule can be grueling. Being constantly in an unwanted spotlight is aggravating at times. I still get nervous preaching and teaching. I still feel somewhat inadequate in some of my pastoral duties. I am okay with that in that I have only been doing this for 15 years. I know that I am far from the perfect priest and perfect pastor; I still have much to learn and much to grow. I am not a finished product. That said, I can say I have tried my best most of the time. I sincerely hope that as time passes that I will progress deeper and become a better pastor. Despite every struggle that I have faced, am facing, and will face, I love the challenge that being a priest in this society. I love that I have to keep my own weaknesses in check with God's grace. I love that I have learned much and still have much to learn. I love that there will be never a reason for me to grow cold or apathetic. I am interested in what the next 15 years bring, what I will learn, how I will develop, and how I can better be what God has called and created me to be. I am okay with the fact that I will never grow wealthy by earthly standards. I am okay with the fact that this society will probably never respect me. I am okay with knowing that if I am a good priest there will be much sacrifice that lays ahead. I look forward to the future and I am happy in the present. the best thing that I have learned is that God is ever generous with His grace and mercy with anyone who willing to at least try to rise to the challenge of the Gospel. Here's to many more years of learning. growing, and deepening.
Showing posts with label vocation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vocation. Show all posts
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
You Like Me, You Really Like Me!...or maybe not
Then, just off the heels of this epiphany came the sexual revolution. We might have had problems with this or that teaching of the Church, but now we were free to just let loose. What better way than to fornicate like bunnies and feel no tinge to that nasty old conscience! We could contracept our way into a new and freeing existence of all the benefits of marriage without having to marry. Women were told that marriage and family life weighed them down anyway, but why chuck that ball and chain and have to miss sex?! When that stodgy old Pope Paul VI put out Humanae Vitae..well we just had in black and white just how out of it the Church was. It wasn't just lay people either. Many of those priests and sisters who stayed, after so many left, adopted this new 'freeing' mentality and , well, woo-hoo, just went to town. In fact the less that you could act or even look like one of those nasty old relics, the better. Sure, some people got bent out of shape, but they were humorless puritans.
So we bolted from our faith, dumbed down...I'm sorry...breathed new life into the practices, and acculturated so much worldly wisdom, that assuredly now they would like us! 65% quit going to Church much at all or completely. It became fashionable to be a cafeteria Catholic, picking and choosing what teachings we liked or didn't challenge our favored sins. Surely, the world would love us now! Of course, the clergy decided that this would be a wonderful time to hand our detractors boatloads of ammunition (not to mention boatloads of money as well) and break their vows of celibacy with children, women, and men. Okay, it was a small percentage of the clergy...a really small percent...but we bought the narrative that most priests had all the sexual restraint of a teenage boy in a brothel with his dad's credit card. We bought the premise that most priests were gay or just really weird. Surely, the world will like us now! Our convents emptied out! Our seminaries emptied out! Surely the world would like as now! Yeah, not so much.
Catholics are learning that you never negotiate with someone who wants you dead. While those who abandoned their faith were lauded and gave themselves such non-offensive names like 'recovering Catholic" (get it? Like a recovering alcoholic? because Catholicism is a disease? Funny ! Oh never mind) and some became official spokesmen for the Church in the mainstream media and were trotted out like prize turkeys whenever a pope dared cross the pond and drop in. All the better if a former priest of sister..better yet if a current one who just show how worldly they were in trashing the pope. But for those who decided to stick it out, the attacks have been relentless. The more faithful we are, the more they hate us, and we have to happy with this. Really...happy?! The entertainment industry will continue to portray all clergy and religious as either dolts, Huns, gay, or criminals. The media will continue to portray faithful Catholics as insipid, ignorant, intolerant, hate filled, half breeds, hypocrites, and nitwits. The oh-so-smart academic types will continue to doubt our intelligence, our teachings, our rituals, and our faithful with little more than derision and scorn. Maybe even the government will continue to try to strip away our rights. SO WHAT!? My attitude is : BRING IT!
History shows that whenever we are persecuted is when we grow. When we take the moral high ground and stand our ground without returning their attacks with equal aggression, we prevail. When we are forced to defend our ground, we have risen time and again to the occasion. If this sounds defiant..well, that is the point! Truth be told, I don't want the world to like me and approve of me. I don't need their stamp of approval. I don't want to be the shape-shifting insecure about who I am person that allows the cool kids to dictate their likes and actions. In Luke, the Beatitudes bless those who are persecuted and curses those who are liked and approved of by the world. The Catholic who doesn't see their faith as something worth dying for is the Catholic who doesn't see their faith worth living for. So to Hollywood...bring it on! Music industry...bring it! Government officials...hit us with your best shot! Media...we're not scared of you! We came before you, we'll be here long after you. We have outlasted every kingdom, empire, and trend that has tried to destroy us. We have survived every foolish self-inflicted wound with which we have struck ourselves. That is because we have Christ promise that you would never prevail and crush us. We have the power of the Holy Spirit. We know already who wins the war...and it isn't you! So bring it...by the grace of God, we're ready!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Transference, Barney, and Rebellion: Things to avoid in following God's will
The readings for this week have been so wonderfully apropos for this week where we as a Church remember vocations and pray for them during Vocations Awareness Week. Hopefully this isn't news to you. The first reading are from I Samuel, with yesterday's being the call of Samuel. This reading happens to be the 1st reading for this weekend. While the young Samuel is mistaking the call of God for the voice of the priest, Eli, finally Eli understands that God is calling the boy and tells Samuel to respond with "speak, Lord, you servant is listening." What a bold statement! This statement is supposed to be at the heart of every Christian every day. The responsorial psalm for that day (and coincidentally this weekend as well) has the response of "Here I am, Lord, I come to do your will." Again, another simple statement that should be at the center of how we live. Were every Catholic to really capture this, all of the problems we experience within the Church would simply dry up. Vocation crisis? Gone! Scandals within the Church? Never would have happened? Numbers of practicing Catholics dwindling? Not any more? I could go on and on with this list, the upshot is that if we were to live out these two simple sentences, there would profound change and great good. So why isn't it happening?
My first guess is a what I would call a simple case of transference. We become suspect when we hear that we are called to do God's will. We transfer onto God what He means by that with what we mean by that. We know that our wills can be awful self-centered. We know that we can want other people to do our will because it suits us to have them to do so. In this light, God comes across as a eternal me-monkey with a colossal ego that needs to be stroked lest He go all Rambo on you. We assume that God is every bit as self-centered as humanity and bristle at the idea of having to serve such a megalomaniac! However, God is not such. Instead of being self-centered, He is other centered, that is, he loves us and wants what is best for us now and for all eternity. He watches out for us and want to protect us. When He asks us to do His will, He asks us to be other-centered (that is to be truly loving) as He is and thus to watch out for the true good around us.
My second guess would be what I call the "Barney Syndrome". In this scenario we accept that God loves us. We even believe that God unconditionally loves us and wants what is best. Where the breakdown starts is that in believing these things we fail to make the jump that we are called to model out behavior on His. God becomes the Great Enabler. Instead of "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will", the response becomes "Turn the other way God, I want to do my will!" God's job is to rubber stamp whatever I want to do. Furthermore He is suppose to bless it as if I were doing His will! This God doesn't have a hell because everybody gets into heaven, unless, like, you know, you're like Adolf Hitler and stuff. The morality bar is set as low as needed to accommodate whatever it is I want to do. The problem here is that if we enter into a relationship with God, a relationship necessary for heaven, then the love goes both ways. As with a good marriage where the two spouses are actively concerned with the other person's needs , our relationship with God is bound on our looking out for God's will (which as above said, looks out for our good) as He looks out for what we need. God blesses this. God, however, is not one to taunted, ignored, or dismissed. He is not the great enabler. He allows us to make our choice about whose will we follow and then bear out the consequences of those choices.
My third guess is outright rebellion. In the story of Samuel, Samuel is given to the High Priest, Eli, because Samuel is called to serve the Lord. Eli has to sons who are priests as well: Phineas and Hophni. They were self-centered men who has the audacity to steal from God what was His during the sacrifices. Not only were they indifferent to God, they were outright hostile. Their response to God wasn't "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" it was "Go away God, I am going to do my will." Phineas and Hophni push away the hand of God because they have no desire for a relationship with God, especially a relationship that will require them to change. Without God's hand, they are destroyed. This story is repeated over and over again. God does not want such things to happen, but He allows the consequences of our choices to happen if we are insistent upon it. On a slightly separate note: why we think as Americans, that we can push God out of the public sphere, routinely mock Him and those in relationship with Him, replace Him with materialism, lust for power, hedonism, and materialism, how we can surgically excise from any avenue of our school children's life, mock His existence, pile corpse upon corpse with our violence, abortion, and disregard for the basic needs of other and then have the audacity to demand that His only job, if He exists at all, is to make happy and bless whatever it is I want...just baffles me!
The point is that we are called to rise above transference, Barney, and rebellion and follow God in our lives knowing that His will is always oriented towards our collective best interest. There is no reason to be afraid. If we want the vocations we collectively need, it will be in having the faith to say "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will." If we want true peace in our parishes and to be free from scandals of all sort, then again, we will have to conform our will to God's. If we want true unity and peace in our country, it will come from living, actually living, the Gospel which calls us for defer to each other in imitation of Christ. If we want strong marriages and family life, then it will only be through this mutual submission of will for the good of others. God is not a rubber stamp to approve of a life divorced from His will, nor is he a giant purple doofus who enables reckless and selfish behavior, nor is He one who is to mocked. He wants what is truly good for us and leads us to peace. We have to want that to! How will you, the reader, live up to "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" today? How will your life reflect that?
My first guess is a what I would call a simple case of transference. We become suspect when we hear that we are called to do God's will. We transfer onto God what He means by that with what we mean by that. We know that our wills can be awful self-centered. We know that we can want other people to do our will because it suits us to have them to do so. In this light, God comes across as a eternal me-monkey with a colossal ego that needs to be stroked lest He go all Rambo on you. We assume that God is every bit as self-centered as humanity and bristle at the idea of having to serve such a megalomaniac! However, God is not such. Instead of being self-centered, He is other centered, that is, he loves us and wants what is best for us now and for all eternity. He watches out for us and want to protect us. When He asks us to do His will, He asks us to be other-centered (that is to be truly loving) as He is and thus to watch out for the true good around us.
My second guess would be what I call the "Barney Syndrome". In this scenario we accept that God loves us. We even believe that God unconditionally loves us and wants what is best. Where the breakdown starts is that in believing these things we fail to make the jump that we are called to model out behavior on His. God becomes the Great Enabler. Instead of "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will", the response becomes "Turn the other way God, I want to do my will!" God's job is to rubber stamp whatever I want to do. Furthermore He is suppose to bless it as if I were doing His will! This God doesn't have a hell because everybody gets into heaven, unless, like, you know, you're like Adolf Hitler and stuff. The morality bar is set as low as needed to accommodate whatever it is I want to do. The problem here is that if we enter into a relationship with God, a relationship necessary for heaven, then the love goes both ways. As with a good marriage where the two spouses are actively concerned with the other person's needs , our relationship with God is bound on our looking out for God's will (which as above said, looks out for our good) as He looks out for what we need. God blesses this. God, however, is not one to taunted, ignored, or dismissed. He is not the great enabler. He allows us to make our choice about whose will we follow and then bear out the consequences of those choices.
My third guess is outright rebellion. In the story of Samuel, Samuel is given to the High Priest, Eli, because Samuel is called to serve the Lord. Eli has to sons who are priests as well: Phineas and Hophni. They were self-centered men who has the audacity to steal from God what was His during the sacrifices. Not only were they indifferent to God, they were outright hostile. Their response to God wasn't "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" it was "Go away God, I am going to do my will." Phineas and Hophni push away the hand of God because they have no desire for a relationship with God, especially a relationship that will require them to change. Without God's hand, they are destroyed. This story is repeated over and over again. God does not want such things to happen, but He allows the consequences of our choices to happen if we are insistent upon it. On a slightly separate note: why we think as Americans, that we can push God out of the public sphere, routinely mock Him and those in relationship with Him, replace Him with materialism, lust for power, hedonism, and materialism, how we can surgically excise from any avenue of our school children's life, mock His existence, pile corpse upon corpse with our violence, abortion, and disregard for the basic needs of other and then have the audacity to demand that His only job, if He exists at all, is to make happy and bless whatever it is I want...just baffles me!
The point is that we are called to rise above transference, Barney, and rebellion and follow God in our lives knowing that His will is always oriented towards our collective best interest. There is no reason to be afraid. If we want the vocations we collectively need, it will be in having the faith to say "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will." If we want true peace in our parishes and to be free from scandals of all sort, then again, we will have to conform our will to God's. If we want true unity and peace in our country, it will come from living, actually living, the Gospel which calls us for defer to each other in imitation of Christ. If we want strong marriages and family life, then it will only be through this mutual submission of will for the good of others. God is not a rubber stamp to approve of a life divorced from His will, nor is he a giant purple doofus who enables reckless and selfish behavior, nor is He one who is to mocked. He wants what is truly good for us and leads us to peace. We have to want that to! How will you, the reader, live up to "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will" today? How will your life reflect that?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Some troubling question about Catholic Youth Formation
This certainly is not going to be a popular subject, but I am going to ask questions that are going to be uncomfortable and for which I really have no answers. I am going to use my own diocese as an example. First, let me say that I am a big supporter of Catholic Schools and especially those to whom I have been assigned. Second, I think that youth formation is one of the most important things we do in a parish after the sacraments. In fact, I think it absolutely critical for the hope of the future of our faith and its continuance from generation to generation. The following are questions, musings, and perhaps grasping at straws to figure out what is next.
Several years back I was at a meeting for pastors and principals where the presenter was extolling the importance of Catholic education. In the talk, he mentioned that neither of his children practiced the Catholic faith anymore, but the formation they got was wonderful. I know many of my brother priests had a moment of cognitive dissonance. One would assume if the formation were wonderful that his children would still not just be practicing Catholics but actively involved as well. I was talking to a friend who was at a Catholic High School graduation where the principal was going on and on about what fine young Catholics the current graduating class is while knowing that about only 30% of the Catholic students were at Mass on the weekend. All totaled throughout this diocese ( a diocese of around 90,000 Catholics with 3 Catholic High Schools, 38 parochial grade schools, 100+ PSR programs, almost as many Confirmation programs, several parishes with full time paid youth ministers and many more with volunteer youth ministers) will spend upwards of 30 million dollars on our youth this year alone. Untold hours of volunteering, fundraisers, and such will happen. Many parishes will have to make very hard decisions about non-school activities because of tight budgets. In this diocese, we run above the national average of Mass attendance (nationally @30%, in the diocese of Jefferson City it is around 45-50%. But giving is usually just at or below what parishes need to pay bills. It is not as if we are not making an effort. Just for some perspective: I have been a priest for 14 years; this means in my short time as a priest in this smallish diocese, we have spent $420,000,000 dollars on youth education and formation.
Yet the vast majority of weddings I do the couples are co-habitating. I see a very small percentage of them at Mass on any regular basis. I am not saying this to condemn them, only stating facts. I can count on not seeing at least 50% of my confirmation students after they are confirmed, and about that many during the summer vacation break. The number of priestly and religious vocations coming out of our Catholic schools is anemic at best, and this is with a full time vocation director who spends time in each of the schools every year, in the high schools frequently, and is never at an end of finding new ways to get the message out. I am fortunate in that I will say I see 75% of our grade school students every weekend, but I know this is not the norm. I have seen parents scratch their heads...good stable catholic parents...wondering what happened; why is their child not following their example and not listening to what they know their children are being taught. We could only muster less than 100 youth for the summer programs we have...less than 100 from the entire diocese. It is particularly hard to get young men interested in anything having to do with faith and religion.
These are not bad kids. I sometimes look at what they say on facebook and see what their attitudes about faith become and it makes me weep. I see popularity and partying become the foci of life. I see dedication to sports and other activities crowd out faith. I see kids ridicule the one who actually does take faith seriously. We are losing them in so many ways.
Some will say that it is because of the horrid catechesis. Maybe, I know many catechetical series are variations of Christianized narcissism where the value of anything is measured by how it makes one feel. But I know there are very good series out there as well that are being used. It does not seem to make a difference. I have seen dynamic youth ministry and lethargic youth ministry without noticing a huge difference in the majority of a parish's youth. I have seen fine young Catholics come from apathetic and even antipathetic homes and apathy generate from strong Catholic families. I have seen fine young Catholic men run away like they were on fire when a mention of the possibility of a priestly vocation is mentioned. So, after 14 years and 420 million dollars, after seeing heroic and dedicated volunteers, priests, religious, and lay people give tremendous amounts of time and energy to our youth, after seeing a product (for lack of a better word) that does not measure up to the immense amount of time, energy, and resources, I have to wonder what is going on and how do we turn it around. Turn it around we must! (Sorry for that Yoda moment) These youth are the pool from which the next generation of parochial leaders, parents, priests, and religious will be drawn. How do we compete with (or more to the point combat) their culture of instant gratification, focus on only today, consumption with self-esteem, and engaging in behaviors that only numb the emptiness and isolation felt when these foci fail to produce on any lasting basis? I am not willing to write a single student off that I have ever had...not a one...not the ones who have left, grown cynical and bitter at life, not those who see faith as a childhood whim with no depth, not a one who prefers to be drunk, high, and sexually active. I can't. None of us should. I truly care about these young men and women and want what is best for them, even if they are misled about what is best for them, or could not care less about what happens to them. I am happy we are starting to make inroads in my parish, but it is the smallest of inroads and one that is very fragile.
So what do I do? I pray. I pray a lot. Mostly for guidance. Like so many things as pastor, I still feel like a newbie priest, trying to figure out with the grace of God the next step. I make an effort. I care. Whether that is enough, I do not know. But maybe the answer is to continue trying and challenging. Spiritus supplicet. But perhaps it will take all of us actively praying, encouraging, and setting good examples. There is an answer. Christ does not ask us to do something then leave us high and dry without His help to accomplish it. There you go, tonight's rambling.
Several years back I was at a meeting for pastors and principals where the presenter was extolling the importance of Catholic education. In the talk, he mentioned that neither of his children practiced the Catholic faith anymore, but the formation they got was wonderful. I know many of my brother priests had a moment of cognitive dissonance. One would assume if the formation were wonderful that his children would still not just be practicing Catholics but actively involved as well. I was talking to a friend who was at a Catholic High School graduation where the principal was going on and on about what fine young Catholics the current graduating class is while knowing that about only 30% of the Catholic students were at Mass on the weekend. All totaled throughout this diocese ( a diocese of around 90,000 Catholics with 3 Catholic High Schools, 38 parochial grade schools, 100+ PSR programs, almost as many Confirmation programs, several parishes with full time paid youth ministers and many more with volunteer youth ministers) will spend upwards of 30 million dollars on our youth this year alone. Untold hours of volunteering, fundraisers, and such will happen. Many parishes will have to make very hard decisions about non-school activities because of tight budgets. In this diocese, we run above the national average of Mass attendance (nationally @30%, in the diocese of Jefferson City it is around 45-50%. But giving is usually just at or below what parishes need to pay bills. It is not as if we are not making an effort. Just for some perspective: I have been a priest for 14 years; this means in my short time as a priest in this smallish diocese, we have spent $420,000,000 dollars on youth education and formation.
Yet the vast majority of weddings I do the couples are co-habitating. I see a very small percentage of them at Mass on any regular basis. I am not saying this to condemn them, only stating facts. I can count on not seeing at least 50% of my confirmation students after they are confirmed, and about that many during the summer vacation break. The number of priestly and religious vocations coming out of our Catholic schools is anemic at best, and this is with a full time vocation director who spends time in each of the schools every year, in the high schools frequently, and is never at an end of finding new ways to get the message out. I am fortunate in that I will say I see 75% of our grade school students every weekend, but I know this is not the norm. I have seen parents scratch their heads...good stable catholic parents...wondering what happened; why is their child not following their example and not listening to what they know their children are being taught. We could only muster less than 100 youth for the summer programs we have...less than 100 from the entire diocese. It is particularly hard to get young men interested in anything having to do with faith and religion.
These are not bad kids. I sometimes look at what they say on facebook and see what their attitudes about faith become and it makes me weep. I see popularity and partying become the foci of life. I see dedication to sports and other activities crowd out faith. I see kids ridicule the one who actually does take faith seriously. We are losing them in so many ways.
Some will say that it is because of the horrid catechesis. Maybe, I know many catechetical series are variations of Christianized narcissism where the value of anything is measured by how it makes one feel. But I know there are very good series out there as well that are being used. It does not seem to make a difference. I have seen dynamic youth ministry and lethargic youth ministry without noticing a huge difference in the majority of a parish's youth. I have seen fine young Catholics come from apathetic and even antipathetic homes and apathy generate from strong Catholic families. I have seen fine young Catholic men run away like they were on fire when a mention of the possibility of a priestly vocation is mentioned. So, after 14 years and 420 million dollars, after seeing heroic and dedicated volunteers, priests, religious, and lay people give tremendous amounts of time and energy to our youth, after seeing a product (for lack of a better word) that does not measure up to the immense amount of time, energy, and resources, I have to wonder what is going on and how do we turn it around. Turn it around we must! (Sorry for that Yoda moment) These youth are the pool from which the next generation of parochial leaders, parents, priests, and religious will be drawn. How do we compete with (or more to the point combat) their culture of instant gratification, focus on only today, consumption with self-esteem, and engaging in behaviors that only numb the emptiness and isolation felt when these foci fail to produce on any lasting basis? I am not willing to write a single student off that I have ever had...not a one...not the ones who have left, grown cynical and bitter at life, not those who see faith as a childhood whim with no depth, not a one who prefers to be drunk, high, and sexually active. I can't. None of us should. I truly care about these young men and women and want what is best for them, even if they are misled about what is best for them, or could not care less about what happens to them. I am happy we are starting to make inroads in my parish, but it is the smallest of inroads and one that is very fragile.
So what do I do? I pray. I pray a lot. Mostly for guidance. Like so many things as pastor, I still feel like a newbie priest, trying to figure out with the grace of God the next step. I make an effort. I care. Whether that is enough, I do not know. But maybe the answer is to continue trying and challenging. Spiritus supplicet. But perhaps it will take all of us actively praying, encouraging, and setting good examples. There is an answer. Christ does not ask us to do something then leave us high and dry without His help to accomplish it. There you go, tonight's rambling.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Providing for Future Generations
I have it heard so many times in the last year or so that the generation in school now will probably be the first generation in some time in American History who will not have it better than their parents. Increasing debt, both personal and national, paired with slimmer job prospects, skyrocketing education costs, and moral decay are all conspiring against those in our future. The cause of this comes from the same root: we do not sacrifice anymore. In a society that prefers to be served and not to serve, the "I want it all" attitude prevails. Unfortunately other people, especially those placed in our care and those who will be placed in their care, will suffer the consequences. This same fact has plagued us in so many ways, in our world and in our church.
The unwillingness to sacrifice comes from a very dark place in the human soul, a place of rebellion against God. It follows the attitude of Satan, whom in Paradise Lost John Milton writes: "Ego non serviam!" "I will not serve." Sacrifice is necessary for service, but sacrifice is willing to put the needs of another before oneself. It is seen in a good parent who willingly gives up pleasures they might enjoy, or even personal necessities, to make sure their child has what they need. This isn't just a matter of things, but of time and energy as well. Where sacrifice is absent, however, absent also is the love of God. Without the love of God, our projects are castles of sand built on sand on the shore of the sea. We are finding out in this culture that living for oneself is costing us dearly, not only cheating future generations, but also ending in our own destruction as well. This society, a society that consumes like locusts to satiate its materialistic longings, is a society that shows all the marks of a society in decline: moral decay, promiscuous licentiousness, an over emphasis on leisure and sports, the overindulgence of instincts, and a declining emphasis on the spiritual. Too many people think all is lost so they might as well party till the fall comes. This is nonsensical.
The virtue of self-control and sacrifice, also known as temperance, helps us to be wise about the expenditure of our time and our energy and do so with the love of God infusing our efforts. Thus temperance is where we begin. How is it that I can use what I have to benefit others? This is particularly the case in tithing. In tithing, we make a sacrifice of self for the good others. WE help out our local parish so that the mission of Christ might be able to come about in its fullness. So many parishes limit what they do because the monies are not there to do so. Unfortunately the group that needs it most is the group most often treated minimally: our teenagers. So many times we reduce our Catholic stuff to maybe an hour for Mass on the weekend and maybe an hour for education ( if the teens are not in Catholic Schools) and presume that this is enough or that even this is a colossal burden. If we were to dedicate just the minimum time for masses every year, we are talking a maximum of 56 hours out of the 8760 hours of a year! (.006%!) If we dedicate the normal time allotted for youth education (non parochial school students) one would add another 38 hours of the 3760 hours in the year for a grand total of 94 hours a year (1%) for their religious formation. That is what we provide for these youth to grow up to be holy young men and women?! They will spend more time cleaning up, watching TV, playing video games, on sports, on school, on jobs, on sleeping, on partying. Youth activities, even education, are commonly held in much lower esteem than school activities and trying to plan for church youth activities is like trying to steer a Cooper Mini through traffic during the Indianapolis 500. In case we are wondering why there is such a dearth in priestly and religious vocations.... It is time for some temperance. That doesn't mean we quit doing these things, just in appropriate moderation that reflect our priorities as Catholics. If a child never learns sacrifice and having to make hard choices based on good principles and priorities, they will be ill suited for the future.
How do I serve? How do I encourage service? How do I embrace sacrifice for others? The more we get this and act on it, the better suited we are for the future. We can see what living for yourself has wrought in this society. We can do better. Our faith demands better. Maybe the sacrifice begins with getting our priorities straight. there is a great saying by CS Lewis, " Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in, aim at earth and you will get neither." We are transient beings whose end is not here and now. Whether we choose to believe that or not does not change this.Aim eternally and let your priorities reflect that! If we do not, then not only will we lose eternal life but this life will be reduced to the nonsense and pain of greed and envy so prevalent in our world right now. Find ways to serve. Find ways to serve as a family. See the 94 hours as a jumping off point for an entire life and not hoop to jump through to satisfy an unfair God. If we are to ever get the priests and religious we need, it will start from the nurturing of service. If Jesus says about Himself that "The Son of Man came to serve and not to be served", can we as His followers profess any less? Nurture service and its attendant sacrifice and we will be providing well for future generations in a way that stockpiles of wealth can never do.
The unwillingness to sacrifice comes from a very dark place in the human soul, a place of rebellion against God. It follows the attitude of Satan, whom in Paradise Lost John Milton writes: "Ego non serviam!" "I will not serve." Sacrifice is necessary for service, but sacrifice is willing to put the needs of another before oneself. It is seen in a good parent who willingly gives up pleasures they might enjoy, or even personal necessities, to make sure their child has what they need. This isn't just a matter of things, but of time and energy as well. Where sacrifice is absent, however, absent also is the love of God. Without the love of God, our projects are castles of sand built on sand on the shore of the sea. We are finding out in this culture that living for oneself is costing us dearly, not only cheating future generations, but also ending in our own destruction as well. This society, a society that consumes like locusts to satiate its materialistic longings, is a society that shows all the marks of a society in decline: moral decay, promiscuous licentiousness, an over emphasis on leisure and sports, the overindulgence of instincts, and a declining emphasis on the spiritual. Too many people think all is lost so they might as well party till the fall comes. This is nonsensical.
The virtue of self-control and sacrifice, also known as temperance, helps us to be wise about the expenditure of our time and our energy and do so with the love of God infusing our efforts. Thus temperance is where we begin. How is it that I can use what I have to benefit others? This is particularly the case in tithing. In tithing, we make a sacrifice of self for the good others. WE help out our local parish so that the mission of Christ might be able to come about in its fullness. So many parishes limit what they do because the monies are not there to do so. Unfortunately the group that needs it most is the group most often treated minimally: our teenagers. So many times we reduce our Catholic stuff to maybe an hour for Mass on the weekend and maybe an hour for education ( if the teens are not in Catholic Schools) and presume that this is enough or that even this is a colossal burden. If we were to dedicate just the minimum time for masses every year, we are talking a maximum of 56 hours out of the 8760 hours of a year! (.006%!) If we dedicate the normal time allotted for youth education (non parochial school students) one would add another 38 hours of the 3760 hours in the year for a grand total of 94 hours a year (1%) for their religious formation. That is what we provide for these youth to grow up to be holy young men and women?! They will spend more time cleaning up, watching TV, playing video games, on sports, on school, on jobs, on sleeping, on partying. Youth activities, even education, are commonly held in much lower esteem than school activities and trying to plan for church youth activities is like trying to steer a Cooper Mini through traffic during the Indianapolis 500. In case we are wondering why there is such a dearth in priestly and religious vocations.... It is time for some temperance. That doesn't mean we quit doing these things, just in appropriate moderation that reflect our priorities as Catholics. If a child never learns sacrifice and having to make hard choices based on good principles and priorities, they will be ill suited for the future.
How do I serve? How do I encourage service? How do I embrace sacrifice for others? The more we get this and act on it, the better suited we are for the future. We can see what living for yourself has wrought in this society. We can do better. Our faith demands better. Maybe the sacrifice begins with getting our priorities straight. there is a great saying by CS Lewis, " Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in, aim at earth and you will get neither." We are transient beings whose end is not here and now. Whether we choose to believe that or not does not change this.Aim eternally and let your priorities reflect that! If we do not, then not only will we lose eternal life but this life will be reduced to the nonsense and pain of greed and envy so prevalent in our world right now. Find ways to serve. Find ways to serve as a family. See the 94 hours as a jumping off point for an entire life and not hoop to jump through to satisfy an unfair God. If we are to ever get the priests and religious we need, it will start from the nurturing of service. If Jesus says about Himself that "The Son of Man came to serve and not to be served", can we as His followers profess any less? Nurture service and its attendant sacrifice and we will be providing well for future generations in a way that stockpiles of wealth can never do.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A not so subtle challenge
It is easy, I know, to critique something we see and either believe or know to be wrong. Within the Church this is especially true. We can see many disturbing developments: fewer and fewer go to Mass every Sunday and Holy Day, even fewer go to Confession on any kind of regular basis, most Catholics know precious little about the content and purpose of our faith, fewer of our young are retaining their faith, we have nowhere the number or quality of clergy we need, the religious life is in wholesale free fall in many religious communities, more parishes are closing, fewer baptisms, fewer marriages, more Catholics have co-opted worldly sexual mores, and the list goes on and on. There is no shortage of things to bemoan.
It is worth considering that most of this decline is in the 1st world nations (North America, Australia, Europe) (cf. cara.georgetown.edu/CARAServices/requestedchurchstats.html) while the opposite seems to be true for Africa, Asia, and to some degree Central and South America. Were the culprit Vatican II, as so many want to blame, one would expect an across the board free fall. This is not the case. Something is distinctly different in the 1st world that is affecting the Church profoundly. As the overwhelming amount of both laity and clergy in the 1st world are from the 1st world, it is only natural that the clergy of the West would come into seminaries, houses of formations, and religious orders influenced by the culture in which they grew. It has become a downward spiral. So here is my theory...for what it is worth...and perhaps some ways to fix it.
I am only speaking to the church where the decline is in effect. I am a child of the 70's and 80's. I know well the constant message that is continually and feverishly pumped into us: live for yourself! Culturally, we are a rather narcissistic lot. We judge the efficacy of anything by what pleasure it gives me or how I feel about something. Even when we are altruistic, it is because we get a good feeling about ourselves. We are told that life's goal is about comfort, pleasure, and ease. We are used to being so stimulated by outside sources on an ongoing basis, that if outside stimuli fail , we deem whatever we experience as a failure. We become so focused on the individual that we forget that we actually are a social being and that our actions bear directly upon the lives of others. One who lives for themselves will rarely want or believe they need an outside force pressing upon them to restrain themselves, be it government, church, or God. The first real culprit to the decline of Mass attendance is far too many of us simply do not feel we need God or do not want any institution telling us that there is more to life than ease, pleasure, and comfort. We will turn to religion if the world fails to provide, but more often than not, the turning towards quickly becomes a turning away when the individual becomes challenged towards a permanent and profound change of heart. Witness what happened after 9/11.
In our self-centeredness we prefer to be served and not to serve. So many who do come to church have this mentality; I am there to be entertained, to have an emotional response, or to feel accepted no matter how I wish to live. We want all kinds of ministries and programs but want someone else to volunteer. Trying to get volunteers in an average parish is a maddening exercise! God and faith, in this mindset, are supposed to enable behavior and not challenge it. So many times I see people bemoan that priests don't regularly preach about contraception, homosexuality, and such. I willing to bet that these are people who are not themselves struggling with such things. I have noticed what happens when someone touches a spiritual spot they don't want challenged, the reaction is dismissive and derisive! Normally people are happy to hear homilies or sermons that chastise someone else's behavior and leaves them feeling comfortable about their own lives. This is human nature.
We loathe inconvenience in this culture. Everything needs to be quick, effortless, and satisfying. It is why politics has become a collection of skin deep sound bytes. It is why people like the quick to learn slogans (advertisers and politicians count on this). It is why our diets have gone to pot and obesity is on the rise. We want the things we feel of lesser value to be quick so that we may return back to the ease, comfort, and pleasure we so crave. This is very evident in Mass. Last Pentecost, I had a gentleman walk into church, as I was greeting people, who looked me right in the eye and directed me to hurry this thing up. I thought, well, this guy ( not a parishioner of mine, thanks be to God) had picked the wrong feast, the wrong parish, and the wrong pastor to tell that to. We priest often joke to ourselves that we might just as well put a drive through on the side of the church. I was interning in a parish, frequented by tourists, were I saw people in very expensive cars drive up 40 minutes late, get out of their car (leaving it running), getting into the Communion line, receiving Communion, and walking directly back out again and return to their cars and drive away smiling! They never even hit a pew. I see the dismal response we often get in most parishes for adult education, use of the Perpetual Adoration Chapel, weekday Masses, Holy Day masses, youth activities, and such. I know people who will avoid going to a particular Mass because that Mass has the Corpus Christi Procession afterward or some other special thing (really seen in attitudes about Easter Vigil) and "well, that just goes beyond that 1hour (including travel time), Father, that I have allotted to Mass this week." Now, I have been blessed to be in a parish where these attitudes are quickly changing and even were challenged well before I got here. But can we believe for a moment a parish where these attitudes prevail will provoke vocations, conversions, or true worship? If we treated sports like we treat religion, the major leagues of every sport would fold tomorrow! But sports are fun, though...much more fun that religion!
This leads to a deepening in the downward spiral in that so many priests cater to this attitude, many times choosing a safe side to be on. It becomes a matter of which group happens to agree with me or which group will give the lesser grief. As these clerics all sat out in the pews at one time, they have seen their pastors do this, have seen the various sides compete for attention in the pews and then in the seminary, and then have to preach to this same lot as a priest. They have seen priest maligned regularly for saying unpopular things and see priests regularly vilified in the media. I know so many young priest who came out of the gate on fire for our faith only to watch them get bashed about by parishioners who endlessly critique everything about them. It is sad that those who support the faith are not nearly as vocal as the critics of the faith. The temptation to cater what is popular is overwhelming. People forget that every cleric is a human being subject to the same temptations as anyone else and that the temptation towards ease (or at least less grief) can be a powerful thing. I know this because there are days I struggle with this.
We priests also know that most young men and their parents would sooner send themselves or their son to a fiery death rather than see them enter the seminary, let alone get ordained. I have joked that the quickest way to get a teenage or twenty something young man to flee from Church is to ask them if they have ever considered priesthood. Actually it is true. I have seen parents act as if I just asked their son to kill puppies for a living by mentioning priesthood as a possibility. When I re-entered the seminary, many of my friends and family had tried to dissuade me from the seminary because they thought the priesthood was beneath me and a waste of my talents. Think we'll get good strong vocations in that atmosphere? The bottom line is we cannot offer nothing but critiques and expect that anything will change.
Maybe the best place to start about what to do with our faith is to ask the questions: What do I know, actually know, about the Catholic Faith? Where is it I need to change or grow? Where have I resented being told to change? What is it that I positively contribute to helping the Church continue the mission of Jesus Christ? Is my faith too much about me and my personal likes? Am I willing to take wholly unpopular stances in order to do what is right? How do I serve? What is my attitude about worship of God? Do I make a profound effort? Am I willing to endure hardship, inconvenience, sacrifice, or suffering in order to what is right? Conversion of a people starts with one individual conversion at a time. The sooner we learn that God is not to be at our convenience, something that has to fit into our schedule full of more important things, the sooner we will see a wholesale turnaround in our parishes in this country. Nothing changes positively by sitting on the sidelines complaining. Worried about access to the sacraments? When was the last time you spoke to a young man about priesthood or supported a young man who has thought about such things? Have you ever spoke to your children about such things or do the only time they hear about a priest is when someone complains about what a dirt rotten so and so Father is!? These are just a few suggestions, hopefully you are getting the point.
We live in a culture lost in a desert of unfulfillment...a people who are finding the emptiness of living for comfort, pleasure, and ease. WE need to get our act together. The grace of God is there in great abundance, but we have to have to get to the point where it is not just about me and what makes me feel good.
It is worth considering that most of this decline is in the 1st world nations (North America, Australia, Europe) (cf. cara.georgetown.edu/CARAServices/requestedchurchstats.html) while the opposite seems to be true for Africa, Asia, and to some degree Central and South America. Were the culprit Vatican II, as so many want to blame, one would expect an across the board free fall. This is not the case. Something is distinctly different in the 1st world that is affecting the Church profoundly. As the overwhelming amount of both laity and clergy in the 1st world are from the 1st world, it is only natural that the clergy of the West would come into seminaries, houses of formations, and religious orders influenced by the culture in which they grew. It has become a downward spiral. So here is my theory...for what it is worth...and perhaps some ways to fix it.
I am only speaking to the church where the decline is in effect. I am a child of the 70's and 80's. I know well the constant message that is continually and feverishly pumped into us: live for yourself! Culturally, we are a rather narcissistic lot. We judge the efficacy of anything by what pleasure it gives me or how I feel about something. Even when we are altruistic, it is because we get a good feeling about ourselves. We are told that life's goal is about comfort, pleasure, and ease. We are used to being so stimulated by outside sources on an ongoing basis, that if outside stimuli fail , we deem whatever we experience as a failure. We become so focused on the individual that we forget that we actually are a social being and that our actions bear directly upon the lives of others. One who lives for themselves will rarely want or believe they need an outside force pressing upon them to restrain themselves, be it government, church, or God. The first real culprit to the decline of Mass attendance is far too many of us simply do not feel we need God or do not want any institution telling us that there is more to life than ease, pleasure, and comfort. We will turn to religion if the world fails to provide, but more often than not, the turning towards quickly becomes a turning away when the individual becomes challenged towards a permanent and profound change of heart. Witness what happened after 9/11.
In our self-centeredness we prefer to be served and not to serve. So many who do come to church have this mentality; I am there to be entertained, to have an emotional response, or to feel accepted no matter how I wish to live. We want all kinds of ministries and programs but want someone else to volunteer. Trying to get volunteers in an average parish is a maddening exercise! God and faith, in this mindset, are supposed to enable behavior and not challenge it. So many times I see people bemoan that priests don't regularly preach about contraception, homosexuality, and such. I willing to bet that these are people who are not themselves struggling with such things. I have noticed what happens when someone touches a spiritual spot they don't want challenged, the reaction is dismissive and derisive! Normally people are happy to hear homilies or sermons that chastise someone else's behavior and leaves them feeling comfortable about their own lives. This is human nature.
We loathe inconvenience in this culture. Everything needs to be quick, effortless, and satisfying. It is why politics has become a collection of skin deep sound bytes. It is why people like the quick to learn slogans (advertisers and politicians count on this). It is why our diets have gone to pot and obesity is on the rise. We want the things we feel of lesser value to be quick so that we may return back to the ease, comfort, and pleasure we so crave. This is very evident in Mass. Last Pentecost, I had a gentleman walk into church, as I was greeting people, who looked me right in the eye and directed me to hurry this thing up. I thought, well, this guy ( not a parishioner of mine, thanks be to God) had picked the wrong feast, the wrong parish, and the wrong pastor to tell that to. We priest often joke to ourselves that we might just as well put a drive through on the side of the church. I was interning in a parish, frequented by tourists, were I saw people in very expensive cars drive up 40 minutes late, get out of their car (leaving it running), getting into the Communion line, receiving Communion, and walking directly back out again and return to their cars and drive away smiling! They never even hit a pew. I see the dismal response we often get in most parishes for adult education, use of the Perpetual Adoration Chapel, weekday Masses, Holy Day masses, youth activities, and such. I know people who will avoid going to a particular Mass because that Mass has the Corpus Christi Procession afterward or some other special thing (really seen in attitudes about Easter Vigil) and "well, that just goes beyond that 1hour (including travel time), Father, that I have allotted to Mass this week." Now, I have been blessed to be in a parish where these attitudes are quickly changing and even were challenged well before I got here. But can we believe for a moment a parish where these attitudes prevail will provoke vocations, conversions, or true worship? If we treated sports like we treat religion, the major leagues of every sport would fold tomorrow! But sports are fun, though...much more fun that religion!
This leads to a deepening in the downward spiral in that so many priests cater to this attitude, many times choosing a safe side to be on. It becomes a matter of which group happens to agree with me or which group will give the lesser grief. As these clerics all sat out in the pews at one time, they have seen their pastors do this, have seen the various sides compete for attention in the pews and then in the seminary, and then have to preach to this same lot as a priest. They have seen priest maligned regularly for saying unpopular things and see priests regularly vilified in the media. I know so many young priest who came out of the gate on fire for our faith only to watch them get bashed about by parishioners who endlessly critique everything about them. It is sad that those who support the faith are not nearly as vocal as the critics of the faith. The temptation to cater what is popular is overwhelming. People forget that every cleric is a human being subject to the same temptations as anyone else and that the temptation towards ease (or at least less grief) can be a powerful thing. I know this because there are days I struggle with this.
We priests also know that most young men and their parents would sooner send themselves or their son to a fiery death rather than see them enter the seminary, let alone get ordained. I have joked that the quickest way to get a teenage or twenty something young man to flee from Church is to ask them if they have ever considered priesthood. Actually it is true. I have seen parents act as if I just asked their son to kill puppies for a living by mentioning priesthood as a possibility. When I re-entered the seminary, many of my friends and family had tried to dissuade me from the seminary because they thought the priesthood was beneath me and a waste of my talents. Think we'll get good strong vocations in that atmosphere? The bottom line is we cannot offer nothing but critiques and expect that anything will change.
Maybe the best place to start about what to do with our faith is to ask the questions: What do I know, actually know, about the Catholic Faith? Where is it I need to change or grow? Where have I resented being told to change? What is it that I positively contribute to helping the Church continue the mission of Jesus Christ? Is my faith too much about me and my personal likes? Am I willing to take wholly unpopular stances in order to do what is right? How do I serve? What is my attitude about worship of God? Do I make a profound effort? Am I willing to endure hardship, inconvenience, sacrifice, or suffering in order to what is right? Conversion of a people starts with one individual conversion at a time. The sooner we learn that God is not to be at our convenience, something that has to fit into our schedule full of more important things, the sooner we will see a wholesale turnaround in our parishes in this country. Nothing changes positively by sitting on the sidelines complaining. Worried about access to the sacraments? When was the last time you spoke to a young man about priesthood or supported a young man who has thought about such things? Have you ever spoke to your children about such things or do the only time they hear about a priest is when someone complains about what a dirt rotten so and so Father is!? These are just a few suggestions, hopefully you are getting the point.
We live in a culture lost in a desert of unfulfillment...a people who are finding the emptiness of living for comfort, pleasure, and ease. WE need to get our act together. The grace of God is there in great abundance, but we have to have to get to the point where it is not just about me and what makes me feel good.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Same Base, Different Building: Priest, Husband, Dad
18 years ago next week, I re-entered the seminary. I say re-enter because I had left twice before, the 2nd of those two times I left in such anger that I swore I would never enter the grounds of a seminary in my life again. I really need to watch my use of absolutes. My re-entrance was less than spectacular; an act of reluctance and hoping once and for all that someone would tell me that priesthood was not my calling. After a semester in which I piled on damage upon myself, I went home for Christmas break and ran into my ex who informed me that we could pick up where we left off; she was a wonderful young lady whom I could see myself marrying and fathering a large family with. When I left for St Louis again it was to pack up and come back to New York. I knew in my heart that what I was doing was selfish and coming from a reluctance to commit. But at the heart of that reluctance was a very deep question: Why would I feel so drawn to marriage and family life yet also feel called to the priesthood? They seemed mutually exclusive terms. The retreat was immediately after Christmas break and out of my generosity to God (I'm kidding) I gave Him the retreat as an opportunity to convince me to stay. Archbishop Harry Flynn (then the Bishop of Lake Charles [or was it Lafayette] in Louisiana..later Archbishop of St Paul) gave the retreat. He was a former seminary rector of Mt St Mary in Emmitsburg MD. He was awesome. During one of his conferences, he offered opportunity for 1 on 1 meetings. I took him up on the invitation. My question was simple: How could I feel such a draw to the priesthood and marriage at the same time? His answer was simple and has taken me years to fully understand: "If you would not make a good husband or dad, you will not make a good priest. It is the same foundation, different building." This response, by the way, would give birth to what would become Camp Maccabee.
Archbishop Flynn was absolutely right. I have come to appreciate that in greater ways as I continue to mature in the priesthood of Jesus Christ. The same foundation consists of (and this is not an exhaustive list) the following: an ability to commit to something other than oneself, the courage to stand up for what is good and right and protect against what is not, the ability to stand one's ground, the ability to put those placed in your care first, the willingness to sacrifice and even suffer for those placed in your care, the ability to be a man of God and a man of prayer, the ability to provide what is good, and the willingness to give example by word and deed. Although these traits are not exclusively masculine, no man can be a man at all without them.
In marriage preparation, I remind couples that when they commit themselves to each other in marriage, they are from that point putting the other first. Jobs and careers, money and power, prestige and reputation, friends, extended family and even children come after their commitment to each other. That primary bond influences and enriches all their other relationships. After God, the relationship of their mutual bond as husband and wife comes first. For my life as a priest, the same is true. After God, my full commitment and duty is bound to the People of God and the Catholic Church. My commitment to them must come first at all times. As much as a husband and wife are called to profoundly self give for the sake of the other, so I as a priest am called to give myself totally for the good of the Church. As a priest that means that ministry always comes first. As a pastor, that means those placed under my pastoral care have the full right to attention, charity, sacramental ministry, and instruction. That extends to other duties to which I am assigned. It is as bad for a priest to see pastoral ministry as a burden as it is for a husband to see his wife as 'the old ball and chain'. A man who lives for himself and his needs is no more suited for priesthood than he is for marriage!
There is a reason why parishioners call their priests 'Father'. It is a term acknowledging the responsibility that this man has within the parish. A good father provides what is good and true for their children. He protects them from what would harm them. He realizes that he is not his child's buddy, but his dad, which means he will have to challenge behavior, correct behavior, but provide an righteous alternative as well. A good dad is interested in making his children into good men and women who will have a solid foundation for life. He looks out for the spiritual, physical, and mental well being. He provides, with his wife, a rock solid foundation for his children to grow into outstanding adults. everything I have just said about a dad applies fully to a priest. I have to be as vigilant and wise with my parishioners as a good dad is with his children. Both of us get the ability to do this from the same source: the grace of God. This grace gives us the base to be the Person of Christ within our respective calls. Neither a dad nor a priest is called to be an overlord; children are not the dad's serfs, parishioners are not the pastor's serfs.
There is such a need for both good husbands/dads and good priests. In our commitment phobic society, it is getting harder to find either. A lack of commitment is usually a very nasty sign of a present reality within oneself, the trait of selfishness. For men (or women for that matter as well) selfishness shows a profound lack of maturity. Boys are selfish...men are not. Men look beyond themselves to the need of others...boys don't. There are a lot of a lot of chronologically older men who are still boys. They cannot commit and will abandon the commitments they make when they become challenging or difficult. We need better.
Camp Maccabee was formed to address these things while the young men were still young. It was formed to give them the tools to help guide them from the destructive selfishness of boyhood into the selfless bravery of manhood. We speak of honor, respect, self-control, and holiness as the keys for a firm foundation regardless of the particular vocation to which they may be called. Why? The same foundation is needed either way. Those four traits must be driven into young men by their parents as well...especially sons from their dads. If we are to look into the future with any sense of hope about the state of the Church and the state of the married life, it will come from our cooperating with the grace of God and helping our young men to be men...not boys of this world but men of God.
Archbishop Flynn was absolutely right. I have come to appreciate that in greater ways as I continue to mature in the priesthood of Jesus Christ. The same foundation consists of (and this is not an exhaustive list) the following: an ability to commit to something other than oneself, the courage to stand up for what is good and right and protect against what is not, the ability to stand one's ground, the ability to put those placed in your care first, the willingness to sacrifice and even suffer for those placed in your care, the ability to be a man of God and a man of prayer, the ability to provide what is good, and the willingness to give example by word and deed. Although these traits are not exclusively masculine, no man can be a man at all without them.
In marriage preparation, I remind couples that when they commit themselves to each other in marriage, they are from that point putting the other first. Jobs and careers, money and power, prestige and reputation, friends, extended family and even children come after their commitment to each other. That primary bond influences and enriches all their other relationships. After God, the relationship of their mutual bond as husband and wife comes first. For my life as a priest, the same is true. After God, my full commitment and duty is bound to the People of God and the Catholic Church. My commitment to them must come first at all times. As much as a husband and wife are called to profoundly self give for the sake of the other, so I as a priest am called to give myself totally for the good of the Church. As a priest that means that ministry always comes first. As a pastor, that means those placed under my pastoral care have the full right to attention, charity, sacramental ministry, and instruction. That extends to other duties to which I am assigned. It is as bad for a priest to see pastoral ministry as a burden as it is for a husband to see his wife as 'the old ball and chain'. A man who lives for himself and his needs is no more suited for priesthood than he is for marriage!
There is a reason why parishioners call their priests 'Father'. It is a term acknowledging the responsibility that this man has within the parish. A good father provides what is good and true for their children. He protects them from what would harm them. He realizes that he is not his child's buddy, but his dad, which means he will have to challenge behavior, correct behavior, but provide an righteous alternative as well. A good dad is interested in making his children into good men and women who will have a solid foundation for life. He looks out for the spiritual, physical, and mental well being. He provides, with his wife, a rock solid foundation for his children to grow into outstanding adults. everything I have just said about a dad applies fully to a priest. I have to be as vigilant and wise with my parishioners as a good dad is with his children. Both of us get the ability to do this from the same source: the grace of God. This grace gives us the base to be the Person of Christ within our respective calls. Neither a dad nor a priest is called to be an overlord; children are not the dad's serfs, parishioners are not the pastor's serfs.
There is such a need for both good husbands/dads and good priests. In our commitment phobic society, it is getting harder to find either. A lack of commitment is usually a very nasty sign of a present reality within oneself, the trait of selfishness. For men (or women for that matter as well) selfishness shows a profound lack of maturity. Boys are selfish...men are not. Men look beyond themselves to the need of others...boys don't. There are a lot of a lot of chronologically older men who are still boys. They cannot commit and will abandon the commitments they make when they become challenging or difficult. We need better.
Camp Maccabee was formed to address these things while the young men were still young. It was formed to give them the tools to help guide them from the destructive selfishness of boyhood into the selfless bravery of manhood. We speak of honor, respect, self-control, and holiness as the keys for a firm foundation regardless of the particular vocation to which they may be called. Why? The same foundation is needed either way. Those four traits must be driven into young men by their parents as well...especially sons from their dads. If we are to look into the future with any sense of hope about the state of the Church and the state of the married life, it will come from our cooperating with the grace of God and helping our young men to be men...not boys of this world but men of God.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The value of friends
Over the last few days, after spending a great deal of time mentally and spiritually unpacking the bomb dropped last weekend about the aforementioned young priest who is taking a leave of absence, it occurred to me that any priest could walk down a similar road without even noticing it until it is too late. I got to thinking about what has kept me from walking down that road. I the last post I stated the three things every priest needs to help keep a sense of opprobrium about himself (Spiritual Director, faithfully praying the Liturgy of the Hours, Brother Priests as friends). I also started thinking about other things that have help keep me from collapsing in on myself over the years, especially around 2002 when things got very difficult because of the scandals surrounding the priesthood in this country. here are a few.
It would be idiotic to believe that any of my stability would be present without the grace and love of God. Although my appreciation of the depth of the Father-Son relationship I am called to have with God is still yet unfolding in greater clarity; I have found the solace of hope that comes from a deep set belief that our Father actually does want what is in our best interest. When things have gotten especially difficult or confusing, I knew that I had to hold on for dear life to faith and to the relationship I have with God. Without that relationship, I simply would not be able to operate in any sensible fashion. It is with great anticipation that I look forward to watching that relationship continue to unfold and deepen.
I have also had the benefit of having great mentors. Over the years, I know I have been blessed to have priests who took a personal interest in me and helped me along, even when I was not aware of it, and set a high standard for me to follow. I think of Fr Fred Barnett who opened the door to me to re-enter the seminary and became my champion when things got difficult. I think of Fr Jim Fuemmler and Fr Manus Daly who stood by me when things did not look like I would make it back in. I think of Msgr. Don Lammers, my pastor at my first assignment, who encouraged me to use the gifts God gave me and let me get my sea legs while remaining just close enough in case I fell. I think of the Spiritual Directors I have been blessed to have over the years who guided me along and challenged me when necessary and walked with me (sometimes carrying me) when life got difficult. All of these men made and continue to make me a better priest and I like to think that Fr Barnett prays earnestly for me from heaven.
I have also been blessed to have wonderful friends who have repeatedly opened their homes and lives to me, treating me as family. Many took me in as I went through internship and seminary and were of great support. Many have been parishioners in my assignments over the years who gave me a place to relax and get away from the day to day of being a pastor. They have watched out for me, challenged me, prayed with me and for me, and have been there through illnesses, deaths, and most especially helping me stay steady during the scandals. I have enjoyed the outings, dinners, and chatting. I think of nights like tonight where we had dinner and just shot the breeze in the back yard talking about all kinds of things.
I think also of the array of priest friends I have. Some of these have been my confidants and have allowed me to do the same for them. Others have extended their friendship and made themselves available for me to tap into their wisdom and insight. Some of them have been just there for us to laugh and blow a little appropriate steam. They have been invaluable over the years and of great comfort and spiritual sustenance. They keep me honest and challenge to me a better person, a better priest, a better man, and a better Catholic.
As I sat with the young men of our diocese who are in the seminary, I thought that I could wish for them nothing greater that having this wide array of support and deep and abiding relationships. I pray that they have and answer the call of grace for a deep relationship with God. I pray that they are able to find wise mentors who will take a interest in their well-being. I pray that they have such a wonderful array of lay and priest friends as I have been blessed with over the years. IF any of those seminarians read this, cultivate such relationships; they will your rock. To those who read this who fit into those above groups (and you know who you are), I offer a deep and heartfelt thank you. May God bless you and I hope for the continual opportunities to return the favor of your friendships. I am very blessed indeed because of the numerous people God has placed in my life and in the numerous people in whose lives I have been placed.
It would be idiotic to believe that any of my stability would be present without the grace and love of God. Although my appreciation of the depth of the Father-Son relationship I am called to have with God is still yet unfolding in greater clarity; I have found the solace of hope that comes from a deep set belief that our Father actually does want what is in our best interest. When things have gotten especially difficult or confusing, I knew that I had to hold on for dear life to faith and to the relationship I have with God. Without that relationship, I simply would not be able to operate in any sensible fashion. It is with great anticipation that I look forward to watching that relationship continue to unfold and deepen.
I have also had the benefit of having great mentors. Over the years, I know I have been blessed to have priests who took a personal interest in me and helped me along, even when I was not aware of it, and set a high standard for me to follow. I think of Fr Fred Barnett who opened the door to me to re-enter the seminary and became my champion when things got difficult. I think of Fr Jim Fuemmler and Fr Manus Daly who stood by me when things did not look like I would make it back in. I think of Msgr. Don Lammers, my pastor at my first assignment, who encouraged me to use the gifts God gave me and let me get my sea legs while remaining just close enough in case I fell. I think of the Spiritual Directors I have been blessed to have over the years who guided me along and challenged me when necessary and walked with me (sometimes carrying me) when life got difficult. All of these men made and continue to make me a better priest and I like to think that Fr Barnett prays earnestly for me from heaven.
I have also been blessed to have wonderful friends who have repeatedly opened their homes and lives to me, treating me as family. Many took me in as I went through internship and seminary and were of great support. Many have been parishioners in my assignments over the years who gave me a place to relax and get away from the day to day of being a pastor. They have watched out for me, challenged me, prayed with me and for me, and have been there through illnesses, deaths, and most especially helping me stay steady during the scandals. I have enjoyed the outings, dinners, and chatting. I think of nights like tonight where we had dinner and just shot the breeze in the back yard talking about all kinds of things.
I think also of the array of priest friends I have. Some of these have been my confidants and have allowed me to do the same for them. Others have extended their friendship and made themselves available for me to tap into their wisdom and insight. Some of them have been just there for us to laugh and blow a little appropriate steam. They have been invaluable over the years and of great comfort and spiritual sustenance. They keep me honest and challenge to me a better person, a better priest, a better man, and a better Catholic.
As I sat with the young men of our diocese who are in the seminary, I thought that I could wish for them nothing greater that having this wide array of support and deep and abiding relationships. I pray that they have and answer the call of grace for a deep relationship with God. I pray that they are able to find wise mentors who will take a interest in their well-being. I pray that they have such a wonderful array of lay and priest friends as I have been blessed with over the years. IF any of those seminarians read this, cultivate such relationships; they will your rock. To those who read this who fit into those above groups (and you know who you are), I offer a deep and heartfelt thank you. May God bless you and I hope for the continual opportunities to return the favor of your friendships. I am very blessed indeed because of the numerous people God has placed in my life and in the numerous people in whose lives I have been placed.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Feast of the Transfiguration
We cannot wag our fingers too hard at the disciples though. All too often, we busy the vast majority of our time, energy, and resources building kingdoms for ourselves here and now. We look for ease, wealth, influence, and reputation here and now as if this is all that there is. We build kingdoms bound for destruction, for our death will wipe out any tenuous hold we had on any of these kingdoms. What then? Will we face a true kingdom that we have largely ignored and only mildly prepared for? When we limit our faith to 45-60 minutes a Sunday (when there is nothing else better to do, it is the right time, it is the right priest) and think that this is all we need to do..then perhaps it is time to listen to Jesus. He is not looking for a relationship of convenience, but for a lifelong eternal relationship which influences everything we are. Too many times we see religion as a set of data to be memorized and not as a template for a relationship with God and with one another. WE can get so wrapped up in what we want that we bypass what we need. It is easy to do.
Several years back, I came upon the song "I Surrender All" by Clay Crosse. When I first heard it, it hit me hard. Like everyone else, I struggle with building an earthly kingdom and forgetting about God. I was reminded that I cannot focus on my kingdom and still expect the Kingdom of heaven. My time in this life tells God very clear whose kingdom I am concerned about and to which kingdom I dedicate myself. When I focus on my kingdom, I essentially tell God that my kingdom is better. If I am to expect any true share in heaven, my actions, attitudes, priorities, and focus had better speak to this. Jesus gave us a way of life. He did not do this because He wanted to simply give just another option to follow if it suits us. He did it because this way of life says clearly that I do wish to enter into that eternal relationship with God. So, are you ready to surrender all? Are you willing to stop building a temporary kingdom and start living for a lasting one? Can you hear and follow the words of the Father, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Listen to Him!"? It is hard to do, I know this. I struggle with it every day. However, it is soemthing God gives us the grace and ability to do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)