Tolkien's writings still resonate with so many because they tap into the human condition in a powerful way. In this case, they point to the fact that we must face incredible evil from time to time. How we face evil exposes the kind of man we are. How willing we are to stand up, shatter any connections to comfort, and willingly engage with a culture who seeks nothing more than our complicity and silence goes to the core of the definition of masculinity in our world.
We have a tendency to deal in extremes in our culture. Extremes are easy to identify. To one extreme when it comes to masculinity is the warped image of the man as an authoritarian despot who treats all around him as a means to an end. To the other extreme is the image of a perpetual boy numbed with comfort and spineless in opinion. When I speak of masculinity, I wish to avoid these extremes. Too many times, we drift to these extremes to define who we should be. I am purposing a third way. For Christ calls us to neither be dictators nor door mats.
My proposal is for us to find our masculinity in something that is modeled after Jesus Himself. I caution, though, in as much as the definitions of masculinity are manipulated by cultures, so is the image of who Jesus is. In this we must avoid the extremes of a Vengeful God who cannot wait to drop us into hell or the peace, love, and crunchy granola hippie who is a tragic victim of 'the man'.
Jesus and Masculinity
Key to understanding Jesus, is to understand that He is completely motivated by love, specifically self-giving love. The life He embraces is one of detachment from all worldly goods. He shows compassion where love dictates it should. He shows fervor and courage where love dictates it should. He is not defined by any societal conventions. He eats with sinners. He talks to people he shouldn't. He doesn't back from confrontation. He is the Son of God/Son of Man that the Father wants Him to be. Even when He had to face the torture and brutality of the Passion and crucifixion, He doesn't back down.
When He sends His apostles and disciples out, He tells them He is sending them out as lambs among wolves. He expects them to follow His lead. When He calls them despite their frailties, He knows who they can be with His help. He expects them to follow Him in a life of detachment. He expects them to follow the same compassion and courage. He expects them to face their crosses with the same love and courageous resolve that He did. On top of this, He expects them to preach what is considered madness in the Roman world.
In the Roman world, the paterfamilias (father of the family) had absolute control over his wife and children. They could be killed, sold into slavery, or any other action that he saw fit. The apostles were not to model the way they fathered this fledgling church on such behavior. In fact, they were to challenge the very idea of the paterfamilias as it stood. They didn't do this by going to the opposite extreme and teach men to be door mats; the heart of being a leader was to be a servant. This is how Jesus leads, this is how his apostles were to follow suit.
The Pressure
Most young men find themselves in a world that still preaches the extremes. On the one hand we have the part of the culture that tells us that you prove your manhood by what you can conquer. This is the basis of the hook-up culture. This is the success-at-all-cost culture. This is the culture that tells you to manipulate everything around you. It requires a great deal of arrogance and suppressing of being a servant. On the other side, you are told to sit down and shut up. You are taught to be ashamed of anything distinctly masculine as being part of the rape culture/patriarchy. This side assumes the only other option is the other extreme. The goal is to create an easily subjugated group.
Both sides, though, have a common enemy. Catholicism. Both sides speak in terminology of power: either being the one wielding power or being the one who power wielded over. Catholicism, as is written, goes in an opposite direction. It places a premium on selfless love. If one selflessly loves, then one will not treat others as a means to and end; whether that end be sexual conquests, fiscal conquest, or whatever other conquest is sought. If one selflessly loves, then hedonism (the Playboy mentality) and materialism cannot be sought. Catholicism also places a premium on being a witness to something greater. Hence, a life of mousy silence and religion-as-a-personal-hobby is not the goal either. Catholicism requires making stands for the truth even when that truth is unpopular. Catholicism requires entering into the warfare of culture to uphold the truth. While the truth will set you free, it will not win the approval of the culture.
Isolation and Fellowship
The greatest way to manipulate someone is to increasingly isolate them. If I were the devil, I would use isolation as a primary tool. How would I strangle the spiritual life of a young man? I would introduce him to porn as early as possible. I would simultaneously teach him to treat sexuality as a means of self-gratification and then make him feel deeply guilty about seeing women as such. That way I could isolate him out from forming healthy relationship with women and use it as a source of shame to preclude service to God. I would have wallow in a swamp of shame at his weakness and resentment that the Church teaches he should not be doing this.
If I were the devil, I would have the young man cut himself off of sacramental grace; I would want nothing of the life of Christ in him. I would isolate him from his community of faith. I would cut him off from men who might model Catholic masculinity. I would make him feel uncomfortable in deepening any sense of faith. I would provide of plethora of distractions all of which he could treat as greater and more pressing priorities. In doing this, I could isolate him from godly men and surround him with men from the extremes. I would leave him trying to fill a hole in his heart with all of these things.
In Tolkien's story, the task of standing against evil is not left to one man. A fellowship is formed. Even the task of destroying the ring isn't left to a single man; that man takes his friend with him to push him and encourage him when he felt weak or was tempted by the power of the ring. Jesus sent his disciples in groups of two. He expected the Apostles to be one, to create a group who would be one throughout the world. They were to support one another and bring out the best in one another. They were to be bound in the same selfless service that He Himself lived.
Over the years, fraternal orders have been formed for Catholic men to bring our the best in other Catholic men so as to call to courageous and selfless service. I speak of groups like the Knights of Columbus and more recently, the Frassati groups. The goal is to make men understand that if you are isolated, you are an easy target for destruction. As we want you to be strong, we form the bonds of fellowship.
That first and most essential bond is that of the divine life placed in us by the Sacramental life of the Church. You cannot do this without the life of Christ running through your veins. It is also the place you learn about selflessness. This means getting away from the idea of Mass as something you get something from to a place where you offer selfless service and worship to God. It means being able to see sacramental grace as the fuel to building resolve to the man God made you to be.
Last Sunday, during a panel for confirmation, a question was asked how to maintain faith and grow as a person left home and was no longer compelled to go. One bit of advice I gave was to surround yourself with people who would call you to being a person of faith. In the same panel, I also challenged the students to look at what influences they allowed in their life through media and entertainment. Inevitably, young men, you make the decisions of what you allow into your life. IF you drink poison, be prepared for the consequences.
Add men to your life who will encourage you to rise to the level of selfless service. Push beyond the tepid nature of comfort. The world is not going to like your doing this. Then again, what enemy likes it when a combatant enters the field of battle against it?
Know the Tools
In Tolkien's story, the fellowship was not sent out to their task unarmed. The weapons of war necessary to the task at hand were taken with them to accomplish the task. St. Paul likens the life of a Christian to that one of a soldier going off to battle. The main armor and weapons of the Catholic man are the virtues. A Catholic man embraces them and learns how to effectively use them with all the skill of a soldier and his weapon. Dropping these weapons and armor only leaves you vulnerable to an enemy who gives no quarter.
A Catholic man has at his disposal a use of the cardinal virtues. He can use prudence to judge how and when to act. He can use justice to put his own needs aside in order to give to another what is needed. He can use temperance to show the self-control and discipline to act rightly and selflessly. He can use fortitude to show the courage necessary to take the stands he needs to take, to engage wisely in the battles he must fight, and to band with his brothers so that man is left behind.
A Catholic man knows that he isn't meant to do this on his own. He has the God given and God strengthened theological virtues to know God's will (faith), to trust God's will (hope), and to execute God's will in such a way as to model himself after Christ (love). This boldness gives you the ability to cry out "DEUS VULT" when our culture would scare you off the field.
Find that fellowship in your own life. I know it might require a great courage and might also mean intense shifts. I know some of you might already feel isolated. Maybe you have already allowed poisons like porn, promiscuity, and such into your life. Maybe you have isolated yourself from the sacraments or have treated faith as a pious hobby at best. The point is, though, that God can take you from such a timid and selfish existence and rise you above it. You just have to be willing to be uncomfortable, to stand out, and to be the man who doesn't live in the extremes of this culture.
We need men who will rise up and take on the courage of the Tolkien's fellowship. We need men who will mimic Christ and His apostles and embrace detachment and pour themselves out for the good of those God will place in their care. If you are called to marriage and family life, your family will need you to be this man. If you are called priesthood, your parish will need you to be this man. We know the damage done by those who took on these roles and weren't these men. Now...go out and learn to be this man. Know that God will give you what you need if your willing to do it.
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