3 Masses and a Home Visit

Many times I will get asked what I do 'the rest of the week.'  I imagine there are some Catholics who have little clue what their pastor does.  It is a hard question to answer because one of the things I have found about priesthood is that it is unpredictable.  Many times, I have a rough idea in my head what will happen, but the particulars and order vary.  Yesterday, 11/17, was a rare day.  I had a schedule and nothing moved it.  Going through my schedule would be boring, so hitting the four highlights of the day might give you an insight, not merely into my life, but the life of many pastors.  Hopefully, it might hit on a few other points as well.

8:15 Morning Mass in the Parish

Mass is the anchor of my day.  Although the ritual is the same ( I am very by the book), they are unique as fingerprints.  Sometimes a congregation dictates much of the homily for me.  The Feast of St Elizabeth of Hungary and its proper readings afforded me a lot of room to custom fit a challenging homily for what group I am preaching to.  In this case, it was 20 or so older parishioners and the 200 or so school students and staff.  Being able to hold up such a splendid role model as St. Elizabeth who used her great wealth to serve the needs of the poorest and sickest of her kingdom, using her time and energy nurturing a deep relationship with God, and her willingness to give completely of herself were the heart of the homily.

I look at this group and see so many young men and women whose vocations are yet unknown to them.  I see a group who our Church needs to invest themselves in their faith, not holding out for a minimum effort or waiting for someone else to pick up the ball.  I see a group our parish needs to invest heavily in. They need to know about the heroes.  They need to be prodded to such heroism.  Heck, there isn't a person in that room, young or old, that doesn't need that call to excellence.  We need more St. Elizabeths. And more St Martins and St Alberts, and.... Many more.

The words that come out of my mouth challenge me as well. Perhaps knowing I am an unfinished product, knowing that my relationship with Christ and His Church still needs growth, and that my own holiness lacks at times drives me the way I want to drive others. I often look out at the parishioners gathered and think the same thing that I think many parents do when they look at their children: I am responsible before God for these people.  I better be using the gifts I am given to lead them towards Christ.

10:15 Mass at a Local Care Facility

I said before that each Mass is as unique as a fingerprint.  Even though I use the same Mass reading and prayers, I am now in front of about 15 elderly people.  Having worked with the elderly for so long, I know they are in a somewhat different place than the young faces I just left.  For one, most of them are in self contained community.  They see the same people day in and day out.  They are also in the waning years of life.  Questions of what might have been and evaluation of their lives are in the forefront of their minds, especially as death draws near.

That said, the same principles are in play.  The challenges the have towards kindness and patience are a daily thing.  Having sat down for an untold amount of hours in facilities like these, in their homes, and  by their hospital beds, I know the questions they have, the joys they have, the fears they have, and the doubts they have.  The call to strive for holiness becomes more needed as they enter that time of life where we prepare for what happens after we die.  To wisely use what time is gifted us helps to hold out hope.

As I wander into my 50's, I am aware that more than half my life is done and about half of my priestly ministry is done.  As I drove home, I thought about what might have changed not just in my lives, but in the lives of all I have ministered to had I stuck to my guns 25 years ago and refused to re-enter the seminary.  I am sure God would have provided for these people somehow...maybe.  I know that the joy I feel now in my call would not be here.  It occurs to me as I drive home that I am thankful and very blessed to be where I am now.

1:15 Mass at the Boonville Correctional Center

My third Mass of the day happens at the local minimum security prison in our town.  I had done limited prison ministry before in my last assignment.  I say Mass once a month out there.  As I am driving there, I got to thinking that there is no reason I cannot do this twice a month.  My congregation there is about 7 residents.  I hear confessions before.  There, we do the following Sunday Mass.  So the Parable of the Talents is in play.  It would be easy to brush over it and give some pablum.  However these seven men don't need pablum.  Neither do I.

The gist is that God gives us a great wealth in out freedom, our abilities, and our other gifts from Him.  These gifts are not entitlements, but investments for which are held accountable.  Jesus tells this parable to His disciples...to those who say they believe. The beauty is that if we have buried out talents by misusing them or burying them, there is still a chance here and now to right that ship through God's grace.  Sooner of later, though, the master comes home, and we are held accountable.

Not one of those men in that chapel are a finished product, no more than those young faces I saw in the first mass or the older faces I saw in the second Mass. I am not a finished product.  Holding out hope that we might well learn how to master our use of the talents is with us till we die.  My job, in that prison chapel, was to hold on the certainty of hope and that the love of God can turn us around from what we have previously done.

6:15 Home Visit

My last event of the day is a home visit to a family in the parish.  It wasn't about going over their giving, their stewardship, or their obligations. It was a time to just get an opportunity to get to know my flock.  The couple and their three children provided good food, good conversation and a delightful time.   We talked about family, God, music, sports, the parish and school, and just relaxed.  Being a thousand miles from my own family sucks a lot of the time.  It can be isolating.  However, these home visits remind me of something my oldest sister told me last year, "Bill, We (my siblings) understood a long time ago that your pairsh is your family.  We respect that."

I hear so many times that a fear young men have about being a priest is that they will be lonely.  I figure a priest is lonely so many times because he doesn't engage.  Over the years I have made close friends with former parishioners.  I have had open doors in many places.  Earlier this week, I stopped by a cemetery in my home parish and walked through tombstones with the names of people who opened their homes and lives to me over the years.  I remembered meals, laughs, tears, long discussions, and every other thing hat goes with family life.  More than a few I buried in that cemetery.

They were there for me, I was there for them.

As we look at a shrinking clergy, I suppose we can find ways of doing things, but let's be honest, it not going to be the same.  It is not about goods and services being rendered.  Sure, a good deacon or lay person can do communion services at the nursing home or prison.  In many places, that is the only choice.  But the dynamic is different.

It is days like this that remind me that I am called father for a reason.  It is constant reminder of the role I play in this parish.  Like in a family, I can delegate the care of the kids to others, but do it enough and the kids start to wonder if you love them. The most dominant image given in the Scriptures to describe God and His people is that of marriage and family.  It can't be faked.

I was in that 8:15 Mass because I am father of the parish and my kids were there..
I was in that 10:15 Mass because I am father of the parish and my elders were there.
I was in that 1:15 Mass because I am father of the parish and my brothers were there.
I was in that home at 6:15 because I am father of the parish and part of  my family was there.

We don't need less men stepping in the role of priests.  We need more.  This isn't to denigrate the dedicated ministry of deacons and religious and lay people.  Not at all.  But it isn't interchangeable.  Many families don't have dad around and no matter how great the mom is, dad is needed.  Same for our parishes.  We can have lay people and deacons fill in as administrators.  Many of them do a great job.  But it is not the same.  Our society suffers because of so many fatherless households...so too do many parishes.

It is time young men to step up and be courageous.  It's time to be a man and surrender your desires for something far greater.  If one is called to marriage, then quit playing around.  If one is called to priesthood, quit dodging and weaving.  One day, I will be gone.  It happens.  I want to make sure that when that day comes, there is someone there to take care of my family.