The Church defines the family as the domestic church. It is the place in which the first witnessing of the faith by word and deed take place. As, parents, you have a unique perspective and ability to notice the development of your children in all aspects of their lives. You notice the physical growth and the endless trip to get new clothes and the increasing appetite that usually comes with physical growth. You notice your child maturing; from the forming of words, to walking, running, growing the ability to gain independence. You notice their mental growth as they come to understand their grasp of the world, how it works, and where their role might be in it. You also have a unique vantage point to witness the growth of heir faith, both the understanding and practice thereof. For this reason, among others, parents are rightfully seen as the first and best teachers of their children in the ways of the faith. What is offered by parishes and schools is to be of assistance to parents in the spiritual growth of their children; we are not replacements to that task though.
As with any instructor, you cannot give that which you do not have. So, as the primary instructor, you need to be aware you set the tone. What you hold important and as worthy of time and effort will normally be passed on to the next generation. This is more than the mere passing on of information about God; your greatest lessons have to do with relating with God. It is said that dads teach their sons how to treat women and their daughters what to expect of men; that mothers teach their daughters how to treat men and their sons what to expect of women. Both parents teach their child who God is or isn’t and how to relate to God. This is especially true of the dads. Study after study shows that the attitudes about faith will be molded by the dad overwhelmingly more so than the mom. So guys, delegating the spiritual leadership to your wife is toxic. This is not because the wife is lacking…it is not her job…she has jobs as well and does not need to be doing your as well. Just keep that in mind.
As a person grows physically, emotionally, and mentally, so they grow spiritually. As we are integrated wholes, all go hand in hand for the development of the person. In matters spiritual, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS) identified 5 stages in the growth of a person from non-belief to the ultimate goal of being a disciple of Jesus Christ. These steps came from their work at evangelizing college students. Author Sherry Weddell, in her book “Forming Intentional Disciples” noticed that these five steps are true for all. The five steps are : Trust, curiosity, openness, seeking, and finally intentional discipleship. Let’s go through these.
The first level of this process is trust. A non-believer will seek a person they trust as a bridge to possible engagement. Within the family this is important; your children will look to you first as that bridge of trust. That bridge is built or destroyed by our positive or negative witness. If prayer does not happen in the home, if the principles of selflessness are not lived by the parents, if faith is foreign within the day to day operations , then the trust forms in that faith is not important. If however, the family prays together (dad…one of your primary jobs), if mom and dad model selfless love, if faith is a determining factor is how decisions are made and priorities set, if the practice of the faith is central, then the parent has set up a bridge of trust in which the child can now proceed. A person can stay at this level their entire lives. Sometimes because improper example had been given, sometimes because of an unwillingness to change. This step is crucial, because if it is not realized the others steps do not happen. Witness within your homes. Not just with words, but with action. Kids are very good at picking up when words and actions don’t’ jibe. These children are a gift of God given to you so that they may grow into an eternal relationship with God. Trust, though, is the beginning of the process.
AS with all things, once an atmosphere has been created that allows for ideas being pursued, the next four stages start to happen in sequence. There is no time table on this, it varies on the constant witness of the parents. The next step to appear is curiosity. It seems every child goes through the ‘why’ phase. In fact they can ask the question over and over again, looking for deeper reason Sometimes they push the question ‘why’ right to the brink of our sanity. As the child tries to make sense of the world around them and the constant barrage of mixed signals they want to know why. This curiosity isn’t an end in and of itself, left to its own devices with someone trusted, it will expand. The curiosity phase can be threatening for someone who doesn’t think they know what they should know. If we know that the curiosity and subsequent stages are coming, than the impetus for us to go through these stages ourselves becomes clear; if I lead others down a path, I should be aware of the path myself. If I as a parent have not passed this stage, it will be hard to lead others. Not all is lost though, sometimes as our child goes through these stages we lead by seeking to go through these stages ourselves.
Curiosity leads somewhere naturally: rejection or an openness to truth. It is not an easily crossed thresh hold though. Why? Because now a commitment is called for, a dropping of the defenses. Trust is essential. Openness is the first stage that involves a willingness to change. For a child, what is being asked is turning away from a natural inclination towards self centeredness and a move towards selflessness. Without this openness, the next two stages simply will not happen. In being taught to not merely reach out to a God whom they cannot see, but to trust in this God’s benevolence for them, we are asking them to trust. Openness allows this movement to begin. It will be rare that a child will move to openness if the parents, particularly the dad, is not open. Because a door has been opened does not mean a threshold has been crossed, only that possibility of the threshold being crossed now exists.
The first steps through that threshold is known as seeking. Now a compulsion to want to know exists. As parents, your children will turn to you first with these questions. If a parent felt inept at the second stage of curiosity, this stage can be more threatening as our knowledge/ lack thereof and our personal witness or lack thereof are completely exposed. What is being sought> Just knowledge? No. Relationship is sought. Faith always points to relationship. Belief is given credence by relationship, Without this step into relationship in general, the last step towards the relationship of being a disciple/follower of Christ does not happen. We now move into the realm beyond knowing about something to actually knowing someone. For parents, this cannot be faked. A child will even accept that a parent might well be in this stage themselves, but if mom and dad (again especially dad) are not open or seeking themselves, it will be near impossible for them to guide their children through these steps.
The last step is a total commitment to so orient one’s life in union with God: discipleship. Here God is not an intellectual proposition or theory. He is a person with which to enter into relationship; a relationship so strong that it is worthwhile to change behavior. This does not mean the disciple is perfect, but now is oriented to living a life of actual faith and discipleship. This is your duty parents. We remind you in the baptismal ceremony that it is your responsibility to teach your child to follow Christ. That means you have the duty before God, a duty for which you are held accountable, to raise followers of Christ.
How does this happen? Prayer for starters. It is not a pious devotion or unnecessary add on if a parent chooses to lead the family in prayer. It is an absolute necessity. Yes, children will get bored and fidget. Yes, they will whine about not engaging in something the enjoy. That is the natural selfish disposition talking. Your job is to move them beyond that. When you make time to pray as a family, you are telling them that this is a priority. Sooner or later, especially if his prayer is atypical and not an anomaly to how the family functions, the children will not merely learn but embrace prayer. If prayer is happening at home the likelihood that the family engages in the sacramental life of the church increases greatly. Where a family doesn’t pray, Mass will seem like an anomaly to life and as such will be resisted.
Second, the witness of love between the parents. When you are selfless with each other, you show your children what a relationship should look like. It is why the Church teaches that the bond between a husband and wife gives witness to the bond of Christ and His Bride, the Church. How you relate to your children also bears witness. Dads, you become a symbol of the fatherhood of God. Children, for better or for ill, will transpose how they see you dads into how they see God. If they see the great enabler in you, it s how they will see God. If the see the great tyrant in you, they will see God as such as well. If they see the selfless hero, they will see that in God as well. Your role cannot be duplicated nor faked. The Scriptures tell us you are, not should be or can be, but are the spiritual head of the home. Your ability to witness discipleship is a hinge. The inner workings of the domestic Church will determine so much of the trajectory of your children’s faith.
Third, and by no means is this an exhaustive list, how are priorities set? Does the family study the faith together at all or make use of the opportunities afforded in the parish? Do commitments to other entities (as good as they might be) trump prayer and the practice of faith? When hard choices have to be made about jobs, sports, extracurricular activities, entertainment and the enriching of faith…who wins and what does that say? We know from human relationships that when a relationship is not seen as worthy enough to endure sacrifice and even suffering for, then the relationship is seen as non-essential at best and as merely detrimental at worst. However, if sacrifice is embraced, then a message is that the relationship in question is primary and important. That a child comes to this level of faith is what you promised you would do at their baptism.
We know that this scenario has not been played out across the board for decades. We see this in the declining Mass attendance, the abandonment of Confession, the decline in every measurable data out there. This is not new and why The Second Vatican Council and one of it architects, St John Paul II, called for a new evangelization to burst forth. You here are part of that call. It is about recapturing what was lost and using it so as t positively transform the world in which our children will someday enter. The voice of Christ and your own voice are not the only ones beckoning for their attention.
How do we restore these things? By intentionally understanding where we are on this road of discipleship: are we still at trust? Are we at curiosity? Are we at openness? Are we at seeking? Are we at discipleship? Why does it matter? Because by virtue of being a parent it is your job to lead your children through these steps . Make prayer a priority in the home even if it isn’t now. Will it be awkward? Probably. Do it anyway; the only way we move from awkward to not is by practice. Take advantage of opportunities out there to explore further the faith…ask why. Pick up a good book, a bible, go to a adult education class, a prayer group, a retreat…break up the business as usual. There are multiple ways out there. Note to priests: we (and by we, I do not mean others in the parish…I mean we priests) should be offering venues for those who want to move through these stages to do so. Just as parents have this primary responsibility within the family, so we do within the parish. We cannot keep farming out these duties to others, we are called father for a reason.
This might seem a new way of doing things, but it is as old as our faith. Parents have always had the role of first teachers. There is nothing new in this. Now, as we pray during the blessing of the Fathers in the Rite of Baptism, may you also be best of teachers, giving witness to the Christ by all that we say and do.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
The New Evangelization and the Family
Before we really get into the topic, let’s define a term first. Evangelization. What is it? Evangelization is the making known of the Gospel of Christ by word and deed. The Church has engaged in evangelization from the very beginning when Jesus sent his disciples and apostles out 2 by 2 to the villages He intended to visit. In His parting words to the Apostles in the Gospel of Matthew, he said, “Go make disciples of nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them all I taught you.” For two thousand years, apostles, the missionaries have gone throughout the four corners of the world making known the Gospel and the life it calls us to.
The call to evangelization has always been central to the Catholic Church. From the missionary activity of the Apostles, the great missionaries like St Patrick, St. Boniface, St Francis Xavier, and St Isaac Jocques to the establishment of parishes and school throughout the world, The Church has an extensive infrastructure in which to accomplish this task. Parishes are more than a local place to get sacraments, but were set up to be centers of evangelization in which the Gospel became more known to the local community. Those parishes are full of people who were baptized into the missionary and evangelical call of the Church. The local parish is the birthplace of disciples.
That new birth comes through baptism. When we are baptized we are brought into the triple office of Jesus: priest, prophet, and king. Evangelization is part of that prophetic vocation to which we are baptized. When are anointed with Sacred Chrism, we are told we now share in the mission of the Church. These are not hallmark words said to enhance the moment, but a reality the Church has for all her baptized. When you had your children baptized, whether you realized it or not, you were committing to raising disciples and evangelists of Jesus Christ.
So, then, what is new about the new evangelization? Before the Second Vatican Council, the Church noticed a unwelcome development. Although most people went to Mass, both the knowledge of the faith and the living of the faith were dropping. They knew this trend, left untended, would lead in a free fall from faith. Something was disrupting the way to paradise. They noticed that the world was plunging in madness, as it waged world wars, genocides, and devolved into totalitarianism. It wasn’t merely non-Catholics engaging in such behavior, it was Catholics engaged in the behaviors; even leaving behind faith to do so. One of the principle theologians of Vatican II, Cardinal Carol Woltyja, a man caught in the carnage of both the totalitarian regimes of Nazis and the Soviets, knew that a re-engagement of the Catholic faithful in the knowing and living out of the faith was needed. He called for a new evangelization, a new re-engagement with faith so that what was happening within the Eucharist was being lived outside of Mass. This was tackeled at Vatican II. This call is seen weaved throughout the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church (Lumen Gentium) and the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World (Guadium et Spes). A call for evangelization was being made; this time not to the those who were not yet baptized, but now to those who were already baptized. Cardinal Woltyja was elected to the papacy and took the name of John Paul II, now St. John Paul II, and called all the more for this new evangelization to roar like a wildfire.
Both in St. John Paul’s writings and in the writings of Vatican II, a renewed emphasis on the central role of the family was made. The family is called the domestic Church, the basic building block of the larger parish, diocesan, and universal Church. It’s health or lack thereof would have a bearing on the rest of the Church. The role of the parents, particularly of the fathers, was given a central role in the passing on the faith. This is not a innovative teaching of the church, but a understanding of reality. Children, we know from the behavioral sciences as well as from our faith, follow the example of the parents in how to deal with reality, what is worthy of their time and effort, how to process a wide range of realities based on the witness of their parents. The baptismal rite for Children recognizes this multiple time. When you had your child was baptized, you were instructed of your central role, a number of times which you acknowledged by a yes or I do. You parents are the first evangelizers of faith to your children. What is done is schools, classes, and programs is meant to be supplemental to your instruction. As I tell my own parishioners who are parents: we are your reinforcements, not your replacements.
Our Lord knows that your task isn’t easy; in fact, it is getting more and more difficult. Most parents feel inept to the task. I do not blame them. Our catechesis for decades has been subpar. This cannot be ignored. Despite the constant call of the popes to dive deeper, too often this call did not filter down to the local parishes. There are many reasons. However, we can dissect this death, or look to how we turn it around.
How do we turn it around? First, we need to distinguish between knowing about and knowing. To give an example: I am fairly good ST Louis Cardinals fan. I can study everything there is to study about the cardinals. I could tell you all there is to know about their stats, playing ability, and even personal lives. The question is: do I know them? Do I know Carpenter, or Wainwright, or Adams, or Piscotty? No. Knowing about a person and knowing a person are not the same. If I were to want to know them, it would mean striking a relationship with them. In the course of that relationship, I would come to know them, perhaps even with it growing into a friendship. If we are to engage in the new evangelization, it will come through understanding that the end goal is an eternal relationship, specifically a child/parent relationship with God. Part of that relationship will mean coming to know about God as well. However, if we are to engage in evangelization, it has to start with the understanding of introducing a person into a relationship with God and His Church. Growing in that relationship is not merely growing in some kind of an emotional attachment. No, it is far more consequential: it means growing in the ability to selflessly love God. Evangelization always has this as its primary end.
Second, we know that catechesis has been deficient over the past decades. I do not say this to disparage teachers who have tried their best. But as with all education, if the reality is not lived in the home, the education will usually fall on deaf ears. Many times the reality is not lived because it is unknown. We who have been given the position of leading, you as parents and I as a priest, have an obligation to deepen our understanding of the faith so that we might live it more clearly and give greater witness to what it looks like. It is not as if we do not have many books and other learning available to us. We have to make the choice to engage. That might mean turning off Grey’s Anatomy or whatever sporting event you’re wanting to watch, and using part of that time to pick up a Bible, attend a class, or something that will inform us. That way when we are given the job of witnessing and teaching, we know better what we are doing and where it is leading.
My brother priests and I have an obligation to pass on this knowledge. Most of us have degrees in these fields. We will say we are busy, but how can we as the fathers of the parish tell our parents they need to grow in their understanding of the faith if we do not do this ourselves? It is called giving example. WE can say we are busy with a whole host of things, and we are. But do not parents rightfully say the same. The very limited time we have in Mass during the homily is not enough, especially if we are to correct lost decades. If the priest AND parents are engaged in this new evangelization, how powerful a witness will that be?!
However, the new evangelization digs deeper than knowledge. There is an ancient saying in the Church: Lex orandi, lex credendi, lex Vivendi. The law of worship/prayer, the law of belief, the law of living. In other words: What we worship reflects what we believe, determines how we live. Worship and prayer are the power train of the new evangelization. The surest way to kill evangelization is to first minimize then eliminate prayer and worship as part of the expression of our Catholic lives. There is no surer deterrent to evangelization than a disconnection from the sacraments. It is the equivalent of starving oneself to death. Engagement in the sacraments, though, is more occupying a pew for x amount of minutes. It is actively engaging in thanksgiving and worship of God. I would posit, though, where prayer is an outsider in the home, engagement in the sacraments will falter. Prayer as family is so very important. You dads: do you lead your children in prayer? Do you lead your wives in prayer? Are you not aware that St. Paul reminds you that you ARE…not should be or can be…but ARE the spiritual heads of your home? Many men have left their wives to do it, and those wives and mothers are doing the best they can. That said, multiple studies confirm what we already knew: the likelihood of the faith of a child growing is directly tied to the faith of the dad. We can be the physical and fiscal provider of the family, but if we are not the spiritual provider of our families, we will have failed in our primary duty in the eyes of God.
Prayer is communication with God, a personal engagement with God. It is more than the saying of words, memorized or otherwise, but an intentional engagement with God. When you as parents pray with your children you send a powerful evangelical message that engaging God in conversation is necessary for their relationship to grow. It also ensures that what happens on Sundays and Holy Days is not an anomaly to their Catholic lives, but a continuance.
Secondly, we must nurture within our families and parishes an atmosphere of selflessness. Selfless service is at the heart of what we Catholics mean by the word love. Without a willingness to embrace the sacrifice and suffering that are a part of the core Catholic life, evangelization cannot be realized. Evangelization requires taking the moral teachings of the Gospel and the Church in a public way so as to positively witness to the transforming power of Christ. It calls for a courage and heroism to be willing to stand out in what are considered by this society as extraordinarily counter cultural ways. Without this lived witness and sacrifice the words of evangelization are reduce to mere and quite empty words. In evangelizing our youth we are reassuring them that despite what they see, that the popularity the world offers is a cheap consolation for what a lived Catholic life offers. Selflessness give flesh to the words of evangelization!
Finally, why is the new evangelization so critical? Of course the salvation of our children and spouses is of great importance, but it is a good likelihood that if evangelization within our homes and parishes isn’t taking place, then our engagement in evangelizing the world around us is not either. The call of Christ to His apostles at the end of the Gospel of Matthew still rings every bit as it did when first uttered: the making disciples of all the nations is still central to our call…but that making disciples starts not out there, but in here…in our homes and our parishes. Parishes are to be hotbeds of evangelization. For that to happen, families must be incubators of evangelization…after all, it is what was promised at baptism.
The call to evangelization has always been central to the Catholic Church. From the missionary activity of the Apostles, the great missionaries like St Patrick, St. Boniface, St Francis Xavier, and St Isaac Jocques to the establishment of parishes and school throughout the world, The Church has an extensive infrastructure in which to accomplish this task. Parishes are more than a local place to get sacraments, but were set up to be centers of evangelization in which the Gospel became more known to the local community. Those parishes are full of people who were baptized into the missionary and evangelical call of the Church. The local parish is the birthplace of disciples.
That new birth comes through baptism. When we are baptized we are brought into the triple office of Jesus: priest, prophet, and king. Evangelization is part of that prophetic vocation to which we are baptized. When are anointed with Sacred Chrism, we are told we now share in the mission of the Church. These are not hallmark words said to enhance the moment, but a reality the Church has for all her baptized. When you had your children baptized, whether you realized it or not, you were committing to raising disciples and evangelists of Jesus Christ.
So, then, what is new about the new evangelization? Before the Second Vatican Council, the Church noticed a unwelcome development. Although most people went to Mass, both the knowledge of the faith and the living of the faith were dropping. They knew this trend, left untended, would lead in a free fall from faith. Something was disrupting the way to paradise. They noticed that the world was plunging in madness, as it waged world wars, genocides, and devolved into totalitarianism. It wasn’t merely non-Catholics engaging in such behavior, it was Catholics engaged in the behaviors; even leaving behind faith to do so. One of the principle theologians of Vatican II, Cardinal Carol Woltyja, a man caught in the carnage of both the totalitarian regimes of Nazis and the Soviets, knew that a re-engagement of the Catholic faithful in the knowing and living out of the faith was needed. He called for a new evangelization, a new re-engagement with faith so that what was happening within the Eucharist was being lived outside of Mass. This was tackeled at Vatican II. This call is seen weaved throughout the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church (Lumen Gentium) and the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World (Guadium et Spes). A call for evangelization was being made; this time not to the those who were not yet baptized, but now to those who were already baptized. Cardinal Woltyja was elected to the papacy and took the name of John Paul II, now St. John Paul II, and called all the more for this new evangelization to roar like a wildfire.
Both in St. John Paul’s writings and in the writings of Vatican II, a renewed emphasis on the central role of the family was made. The family is called the domestic Church, the basic building block of the larger parish, diocesan, and universal Church. It’s health or lack thereof would have a bearing on the rest of the Church. The role of the parents, particularly of the fathers, was given a central role in the passing on the faith. This is not a innovative teaching of the church, but a understanding of reality. Children, we know from the behavioral sciences as well as from our faith, follow the example of the parents in how to deal with reality, what is worthy of their time and effort, how to process a wide range of realities based on the witness of their parents. The baptismal rite for Children recognizes this multiple time. When you had your child was baptized, you were instructed of your central role, a number of times which you acknowledged by a yes or I do. You parents are the first evangelizers of faith to your children. What is done is schools, classes, and programs is meant to be supplemental to your instruction. As I tell my own parishioners who are parents: we are your reinforcements, not your replacements.
Our Lord knows that your task isn’t easy; in fact, it is getting more and more difficult. Most parents feel inept to the task. I do not blame them. Our catechesis for decades has been subpar. This cannot be ignored. Despite the constant call of the popes to dive deeper, too often this call did not filter down to the local parishes. There are many reasons. However, we can dissect this death, or look to how we turn it around.
How do we turn it around? First, we need to distinguish between knowing about and knowing. To give an example: I am fairly good ST Louis Cardinals fan. I can study everything there is to study about the cardinals. I could tell you all there is to know about their stats, playing ability, and even personal lives. The question is: do I know them? Do I know Carpenter, or Wainwright, or Adams, or Piscotty? No. Knowing about a person and knowing a person are not the same. If I were to want to know them, it would mean striking a relationship with them. In the course of that relationship, I would come to know them, perhaps even with it growing into a friendship. If we are to engage in the new evangelization, it will come through understanding that the end goal is an eternal relationship, specifically a child/parent relationship with God. Part of that relationship will mean coming to know about God as well. However, if we are to engage in evangelization, it has to start with the understanding of introducing a person into a relationship with God and His Church. Growing in that relationship is not merely growing in some kind of an emotional attachment. No, it is far more consequential: it means growing in the ability to selflessly love God. Evangelization always has this as its primary end.
Second, we know that catechesis has been deficient over the past decades. I do not say this to disparage teachers who have tried their best. But as with all education, if the reality is not lived in the home, the education will usually fall on deaf ears. Many times the reality is not lived because it is unknown. We who have been given the position of leading, you as parents and I as a priest, have an obligation to deepen our understanding of the faith so that we might live it more clearly and give greater witness to what it looks like. It is not as if we do not have many books and other learning available to us. We have to make the choice to engage. That might mean turning off Grey’s Anatomy or whatever sporting event you’re wanting to watch, and using part of that time to pick up a Bible, attend a class, or something that will inform us. That way when we are given the job of witnessing and teaching, we know better what we are doing and where it is leading.
My brother priests and I have an obligation to pass on this knowledge. Most of us have degrees in these fields. We will say we are busy, but how can we as the fathers of the parish tell our parents they need to grow in their understanding of the faith if we do not do this ourselves? It is called giving example. WE can say we are busy with a whole host of things, and we are. But do not parents rightfully say the same. The very limited time we have in Mass during the homily is not enough, especially if we are to correct lost decades. If the priest AND parents are engaged in this new evangelization, how powerful a witness will that be?!
However, the new evangelization digs deeper than knowledge. There is an ancient saying in the Church: Lex orandi, lex credendi, lex Vivendi. The law of worship/prayer, the law of belief, the law of living. In other words: What we worship reflects what we believe, determines how we live. Worship and prayer are the power train of the new evangelization. The surest way to kill evangelization is to first minimize then eliminate prayer and worship as part of the expression of our Catholic lives. There is no surer deterrent to evangelization than a disconnection from the sacraments. It is the equivalent of starving oneself to death. Engagement in the sacraments, though, is more occupying a pew for x amount of minutes. It is actively engaging in thanksgiving and worship of God. I would posit, though, where prayer is an outsider in the home, engagement in the sacraments will falter. Prayer as family is so very important. You dads: do you lead your children in prayer? Do you lead your wives in prayer? Are you not aware that St. Paul reminds you that you ARE…not should be or can be…but ARE the spiritual heads of your home? Many men have left their wives to do it, and those wives and mothers are doing the best they can. That said, multiple studies confirm what we already knew: the likelihood of the faith of a child growing is directly tied to the faith of the dad. We can be the physical and fiscal provider of the family, but if we are not the spiritual provider of our families, we will have failed in our primary duty in the eyes of God.
Prayer is communication with God, a personal engagement with God. It is more than the saying of words, memorized or otherwise, but an intentional engagement with God. When you as parents pray with your children you send a powerful evangelical message that engaging God in conversation is necessary for their relationship to grow. It also ensures that what happens on Sundays and Holy Days is not an anomaly to their Catholic lives, but a continuance.
Secondly, we must nurture within our families and parishes an atmosphere of selflessness. Selfless service is at the heart of what we Catholics mean by the word love. Without a willingness to embrace the sacrifice and suffering that are a part of the core Catholic life, evangelization cannot be realized. Evangelization requires taking the moral teachings of the Gospel and the Church in a public way so as to positively witness to the transforming power of Christ. It calls for a courage and heroism to be willing to stand out in what are considered by this society as extraordinarily counter cultural ways. Without this lived witness and sacrifice the words of evangelization are reduce to mere and quite empty words. In evangelizing our youth we are reassuring them that despite what they see, that the popularity the world offers is a cheap consolation for what a lived Catholic life offers. Selflessness give flesh to the words of evangelization!
Finally, why is the new evangelization so critical? Of course the salvation of our children and spouses is of great importance, but it is a good likelihood that if evangelization within our homes and parishes isn’t taking place, then our engagement in evangelizing the world around us is not either. The call of Christ to His apostles at the end of the Gospel of Matthew still rings every bit as it did when first uttered: the making disciples of all the nations is still central to our call…but that making disciples starts not out there, but in here…in our homes and our parishes. Parishes are to be hotbeds of evangelization. For that to happen, families must be incubators of evangelization…after all, it is what was promised at baptism.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
A religion or a relationship?
One of things that priests do often is celebrations with families at key moments of their lives: baptisms, weddings, funerals for example. It is at such events that the extended family comes. There is no priest who hasn't looked at the gathered family and notice that it is obvious that the overwhelming majority had quit the practice of the Catholic faith. It is not just the young ones, but the much older as well. It is easy for us to look at such a situation and wonder what went wrong...with them. What act of rebellion led them to abandon such a well presented and well witnessed to faith? Did we not have great classes and programs? What is deficient in these people? I know this, because I thought those things early on in my priesthood. I was among those who saw this and either used the opportunity to do nothing or to berate (subtly) the disbelief of the gathered. Was I ever wrong! Now, I look at the situation and wonder if and where we as a Church failed. Where did we who were in charge of faith development (parents and clergy) fail to make a compelling case for not just a religion, but the relationship that is the very center of our Catholic faith? Maybe, in some cases, the fallen away person did have great role models and compelling witness and chose to abandon the faith anyways. Let's be honest though, more often than not it was a lack of such things that allowed the person to drift off in hopes of finding greener pastures.
Human beings are social creatures. We crave relationship. It is not enough for us to talk about the theories of relationship, we actually crave to be in such. It drives the desires to interact, to make friends, to date, to marry and so on. This desire is what drives the creation of families. It builds towns, countries, and empires. Healthy people know these relationships will have peaks and valleys, good days and bad days, times of intense emotion and times of incredible dryness. Deep within the person is a desire to be in relationship with something beyond themselves. This desire drives us to faith, and when that desire goes unmet or is betrayed, it leads to a great anger and bitterness.
Our Judeo-Christian faith is based on one central premise: He who created us, loves us, and desires a relationship with us. He reveals Himself in our history. He does so through angels, judges, and prophets. He gives us a written testimony through the Scriptures. He creates a way for us to come to understand Him and encounter Him. Primary to that encounter is worship. Worship is our way of returning to God the love He first shows us. Our God is not content with a singular relationship with us; no, He wants us to love whom He loves...He wants us to love the entire group whom He calls His family. The Bible is rife with familial bond terms: spouse, father, mother, sons/daughters, brothers/sisters...all pointing to the deepness of a desire for a loving relationship He wants with us. This relationship, built upon love, has a certain look to it, will act in certain ways which all speak to the heart of all Scripture and Church teaching: LOVE. Love is a complete self emptying for the sake and good of another. This love has no strings attached and sets no conditions. All of the 'rules' point to what love looks like. They do not, however, replace the actual duty to love. Religion is the knowledge...faith is the lived relationship.
Therein lies the rub. Do we present Catholicism as primarily a religion or as a relational faith? Is it primarily a set of rules to follow so as to check off obligations so as to get some merit badge or is it a continual self giving which draws us deeper and deeper into an eternal relationship? If we present a mere religion, we do a tremendous disservice, if not tremendous violence, to God's divine self revelation. God wasn't looking for us to dissect Him but for us to come to know Him. If faith gets reduced to a memorization of facts in which we will give you various certificates to prove you went through training (talk about an act of violence towards the sacraments!), can we not but wonder why those who do stay do so? Faith is not an academic subject. Coming to know the teachings of Christ and His Church should lead to ongoing conversion and alert us to what a healthy loving relationship with God and His people look like. No more than religion can be reduced to 'do what you feel' (which was kind of the mantra for several decades...and they did what they felt...as they were leaving our doors) can it be reduced to a mere scientific dissection.
This changes everything. It changes how we present faith and what its obvious end is. If faith is about an encounter with religious knowledge, then we will continue to have the problems we have. Does this mean we cease having religion class? Absolutely not! But what is the end in mind? A grade or a relationship? Perhaps taking a different approach in the dissemination of the content of our faith might be looked at: approaching it as not merely a giving of a particular type of knowledge (which by comparison seems disconnected from others types of classes) but as the type of dynamic in building a friendship or in courtship. This is much harder to do. It cannot be taught coldly out of a book, but must be a lived witness by the instructor.
I am trying to flesh this out in practice. That requires that I engage more in deepening my relationship with God and being extraordinarily conscious of how I behave and respond to situations. In the beginning of this column I talk about those uncomfortable moments at funerals and weddings and such. What do I do now? The homily includes a strong call to seek relationship with God and the beauty that this relationship brings. Instead of a wagging finger or a closed hand, a open hand reaching out is actually symbolic of the relationship to which we are called. As we engage in the new evangelization, we must begin from the premise that what we present is not a mere religious choice...but a call to a relationship that God eternally calls us to and has created us for. Let's start there...at a relationship with God and His people....as our intellectual nucleus and let it lead beyond the sterility of mere intellect (which IS needed by the way) and to the dynamic reality of a lived and growing relationship with God and our brothers and sisters.
Human beings are social creatures. We crave relationship. It is not enough for us to talk about the theories of relationship, we actually crave to be in such. It drives the desires to interact, to make friends, to date, to marry and so on. This desire is what drives the creation of families. It builds towns, countries, and empires. Healthy people know these relationships will have peaks and valleys, good days and bad days, times of intense emotion and times of incredible dryness. Deep within the person is a desire to be in relationship with something beyond themselves. This desire drives us to faith, and when that desire goes unmet or is betrayed, it leads to a great anger and bitterness.
Our Judeo-Christian faith is based on one central premise: He who created us, loves us, and desires a relationship with us. He reveals Himself in our history. He does so through angels, judges, and prophets. He gives us a written testimony through the Scriptures. He creates a way for us to come to understand Him and encounter Him. Primary to that encounter is worship. Worship is our way of returning to God the love He first shows us. Our God is not content with a singular relationship with us; no, He wants us to love whom He loves...He wants us to love the entire group whom He calls His family. The Bible is rife with familial bond terms: spouse, father, mother, sons/daughters, brothers/sisters...all pointing to the deepness of a desire for a loving relationship He wants with us. This relationship, built upon love, has a certain look to it, will act in certain ways which all speak to the heart of all Scripture and Church teaching: LOVE. Love is a complete self emptying for the sake and good of another. This love has no strings attached and sets no conditions. All of the 'rules' point to what love looks like. They do not, however, replace the actual duty to love. Religion is the knowledge...faith is the lived relationship.
Therein lies the rub. Do we present Catholicism as primarily a religion or as a relational faith? Is it primarily a set of rules to follow so as to check off obligations so as to get some merit badge or is it a continual self giving which draws us deeper and deeper into an eternal relationship? If we present a mere religion, we do a tremendous disservice, if not tremendous violence, to God's divine self revelation. God wasn't looking for us to dissect Him but for us to come to know Him. If faith gets reduced to a memorization of facts in which we will give you various certificates to prove you went through training (talk about an act of violence towards the sacraments!), can we not but wonder why those who do stay do so? Faith is not an academic subject. Coming to know the teachings of Christ and His Church should lead to ongoing conversion and alert us to what a healthy loving relationship with God and His people look like. No more than religion can be reduced to 'do what you feel' (which was kind of the mantra for several decades...and they did what they felt...as they were leaving our doors) can it be reduced to a mere scientific dissection.
This changes everything. It changes how we present faith and what its obvious end is. If faith is about an encounter with religious knowledge, then we will continue to have the problems we have. Does this mean we cease having religion class? Absolutely not! But what is the end in mind? A grade or a relationship? Perhaps taking a different approach in the dissemination of the content of our faith might be looked at: approaching it as not merely a giving of a particular type of knowledge (which by comparison seems disconnected from others types of classes) but as the type of dynamic in building a friendship or in courtship. This is much harder to do. It cannot be taught coldly out of a book, but must be a lived witness by the instructor.
I am trying to flesh this out in practice. That requires that I engage more in deepening my relationship with God and being extraordinarily conscious of how I behave and respond to situations. In the beginning of this column I talk about those uncomfortable moments at funerals and weddings and such. What do I do now? The homily includes a strong call to seek relationship with God and the beauty that this relationship brings. Instead of a wagging finger or a closed hand, a open hand reaching out is actually symbolic of the relationship to which we are called. As we engage in the new evangelization, we must begin from the premise that what we present is not a mere religious choice...but a call to a relationship that God eternally calls us to and has created us for. Let's start there...at a relationship with God and His people....as our intellectual nucleus and let it lead beyond the sterility of mere intellect (which IS needed by the way) and to the dynamic reality of a lived and growing relationship with God and our brothers and sisters.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Being a Christian Father
Yesterday, an interview with Cardinal Raymond Burke was released in which he spoke of the waning role of men in the Church. It came across that the cause of this was a 'feminization of the Church' which had been overrun by radical feminists with a radical agenda. This is nothing new being said, I have heard this multiple times. The belief that since 'women have filled the sanctuaries' and the hand wringing about girl altar servers being the cause of the drop in priestly vocations and so on. I'm not buying it. I am not buying the notion that men in the Church are some damsel in distress held captive on a ship overrun by Amazonian pirates. The women stepped in (and thank God they did) because the men abandoned their posts. They abandoned their posts generations ago by abandoning being the spiritual leaders and heads of their home that the Scriptures demand they be. That abandonment has spread like a horrific disease throughout every institution including the family, the parish, and society as a whole. If it is to be corrected, it isn't by blaming women and driving them out, it is going to be by men stepping up and be the leaders they are called to be.
I caution though against falling into the two traps of pseudo-leadership. A spiritual head of the home is to be a model of the Father, neither falling into being a tyrant nor an enabler. Isn't is odd that the two greatest misconceptions of God fall into God being either the tyrant or the enabler? The Scriptures present us with a Father who has a firm hand, a deep love, the strength of patience, and a burning desire for the good of his children. The tyrant rules by force, too weak to model or produce a compelling argument to cooperate. The enabler abdicates responsibility and plays both the fool and the coward in the life of those charged to his care. Neither of these are models of Christian fatherhood, neither in the family or in the parish. I say this because dysfunctional fathers are not sole to marriage, but are so often running parishes as well. Of all the titles a priest can be given, father is the one that is supposed to remind him day in and day out of the awesome responsibility he has.
The answer to what ails us is for men to start being the dads , both lay and cleric, that God has created us to be. This is not to diminish by one iota the role of the mom. She shouldn't have to do both jobs though. Over the years I have talked with many women who do both jobs (even with the man living in the home) and while they do their best at fulfilling the roles, they desperately wish their husband would step up and take his role so that the mom can do hers better. Gentlemen, it is time for us to step up!
How do we do this? How do we grasp the nobility that is spiritual fatherhood? First and foremost by being a man of God. It means following those traits of God the Father aforementioned. You put yourself last! Your children and wife come first. Period. If you are a priest, your parishioners come first. Period. You actively look out for their entire good. You realize your primary responsibility to be a provider and protector, both spiritual and physical, of those God has placed in your care. Your wife and children (or parishioners) should see in you a model of the strength of faith and the pursuit of holiness. Know that if you are willing to turn to God, a Father who loves us and wants what is good for us, and seek the wisdom, courage, and strength to fulfill your mission, He will give it to us. I find the most powerful petition I have every morning is asking God to help me a better father.
If the dearth of priests is to be ever answered. it will by men reclaiming their duty as spiritual leaders. Young men will follow the example of the fathers, for good or for ill. So, men, you ARE a spiritual leader, for good or for ill! Where are we leading? That goes for the parish as well. I know it sounds harsh, but my brothers, neither being a business man nor a show man inspires. They look to us to be strong spiritual leaders who model the strength and compassion of the Father. In either the home or the parish, that is much more than speaking a good game. It is actively living it. It is in taking an active interest and forming the bonds of relationship...you know being a father is a familial relationship?
So dads...do you do spiritual leadership? Do you ever lead prayer in the home. Do you ever pointedly model Christian discipleship? I'll be blunt...it is not primarily the mother's job to take the kids to church...it is yours! It is not manly to abdicate responsibility because I bought into a worldly view of being a man (which is actually acting like a perpetual boy) . I'm not going to go easy on men because I don't on myself. Men don't need to be treated with kid gloves...they man up. Be a better husband and father...model the selflessness, self-control, and compassion necessary to pull this responsibility off. My brother priests, we cannot model our spiritual fatherhood by being prisoners of our rectories waiting like a businessman for the people to come to us. We must get out among our flock and be shepherds actively concerned for the guidance and well being of our flocks...they are the families which we have been given the duty of caring for.
Blaming the women for our own dereliction of duty is an act of weakness and cowardice. We dishonor the effort and sacrifice they put into faith by trying to step up in our role AND their role. We will stand before God, each of us, and have to answer for the role we played or didn't play in caring for those placed under our care. I hope all who read understand this: the base is exactly the same for a good priest as it is for a good husband/dad. If the models aren't living up to the responsibility, how on earth can we expect healthy fruit? No more blaming the women...man up and take your responsibility to those placed under your protection and care. If we truly want to see our society thrive and our church thrive...it will be by being the men we are created to be.
I caution though against falling into the two traps of pseudo-leadership. A spiritual head of the home is to be a model of the Father, neither falling into being a tyrant nor an enabler. Isn't is odd that the two greatest misconceptions of God fall into God being either the tyrant or the enabler? The Scriptures present us with a Father who has a firm hand, a deep love, the strength of patience, and a burning desire for the good of his children. The tyrant rules by force, too weak to model or produce a compelling argument to cooperate. The enabler abdicates responsibility and plays both the fool and the coward in the life of those charged to his care. Neither of these are models of Christian fatherhood, neither in the family or in the parish. I say this because dysfunctional fathers are not sole to marriage, but are so often running parishes as well. Of all the titles a priest can be given, father is the one that is supposed to remind him day in and day out of the awesome responsibility he has.
The answer to what ails us is for men to start being the dads , both lay and cleric, that God has created us to be. This is not to diminish by one iota the role of the mom. She shouldn't have to do both jobs though. Over the years I have talked with many women who do both jobs (even with the man living in the home) and while they do their best at fulfilling the roles, they desperately wish their husband would step up and take his role so that the mom can do hers better. Gentlemen, it is time for us to step up!
How do we do this? How do we grasp the nobility that is spiritual fatherhood? First and foremost by being a man of God. It means following those traits of God the Father aforementioned. You put yourself last! Your children and wife come first. Period. If you are a priest, your parishioners come first. Period. You actively look out for their entire good. You realize your primary responsibility to be a provider and protector, both spiritual and physical, of those God has placed in your care. Your wife and children (or parishioners) should see in you a model of the strength of faith and the pursuit of holiness. Know that if you are willing to turn to God, a Father who loves us and wants what is good for us, and seek the wisdom, courage, and strength to fulfill your mission, He will give it to us. I find the most powerful petition I have every morning is asking God to help me a better father.
If the dearth of priests is to be ever answered. it will by men reclaiming their duty as spiritual leaders. Young men will follow the example of the fathers, for good or for ill. So, men, you ARE a spiritual leader, for good or for ill! Where are we leading? That goes for the parish as well. I know it sounds harsh, but my brothers, neither being a business man nor a show man inspires. They look to us to be strong spiritual leaders who model the strength and compassion of the Father. In either the home or the parish, that is much more than speaking a good game. It is actively living it. It is in taking an active interest and forming the bonds of relationship...you know being a father is a familial relationship?
So dads...do you do spiritual leadership? Do you ever lead prayer in the home. Do you ever pointedly model Christian discipleship? I'll be blunt...it is not primarily the mother's job to take the kids to church...it is yours! It is not manly to abdicate responsibility because I bought into a worldly view of being a man (which is actually acting like a perpetual boy) . I'm not going to go easy on men because I don't on myself. Men don't need to be treated with kid gloves...they man up. Be a better husband and father...model the selflessness, self-control, and compassion necessary to pull this responsibility off. My brother priests, we cannot model our spiritual fatherhood by being prisoners of our rectories waiting like a businessman for the people to come to us. We must get out among our flock and be shepherds actively concerned for the guidance and well being of our flocks...they are the families which we have been given the duty of caring for.
Blaming the women for our own dereliction of duty is an act of weakness and cowardice. We dishonor the effort and sacrifice they put into faith by trying to step up in our role AND their role. We will stand before God, each of us, and have to answer for the role we played or didn't play in caring for those placed under our care. I hope all who read understand this: the base is exactly the same for a good priest as it is for a good husband/dad. If the models aren't living up to the responsibility, how on earth can we expect healthy fruit? No more blaming the women...man up and take your responsibility to those placed under your protection and care. If we truly want to see our society thrive and our church thrive...it will be by being the men we are created to be.
Monday, December 8, 2014
To Catholic Parents
I have a deep respect for those who have taken on the role of parent, of being a mother or father. Even in the best of circumstances it is not easy. I am well aware of the daily pressures that go with the calling and the incredible amount of strain put on your schedules. I know the demands put on your time, energy, and resources. I know that things don't always go right and that you are well aware that you are not the only entity vying for your children's affection and obedience. I know that there is great joy in seeing them succeed and rise to new challenges. I know there are moments: birth, first step, first word, first day of school, graduations, and such which sit forever etched in your minds and hearts. I know some have had the unimaginable trauma of losing a child. I know some hearts ache as their children go down paths that lead to very dark places. I know that your job is at times thankless. I know that if you are doing it right, being a parent means giving of yourself and pushing yourself selflessly for the good of your children. I also know that when you see your child verge off onto a harmful path, you bravely and lovingly know you have to have a heart to heart talk.
I know this, because, first I listen to you...I actually hear what you say; secondly, let's just say that being called 'father' isn't just a job title, but a constant reminder of what my task to serve is about. My calling to this parish is what your calling is to your family. The same selfless love, the same desire for the good of those placed in your care, the same rejoicing in the good, and the same agonizing over wayward steps are a part of my everyday life. As a good parent , I desperately not only want to see each of my parishioners succeed in life, but I deeply desire to share eternal life with them in heaven.
I wish to share with a moment with you my paternal joys and worries. I would imagine my vantage point is much the same as any parent: some of my children are doing well, some are not, some have wandered off altogether. Anyone who knows me knows that this pains me. It is why we have started a concerted effort at engaging in the new evangelization. Our Lord refers to Himself as the Good Shepherd...this does mean He a good shepherd (as in good person...although He is), but the Greek word used means 'good at' shepherding. He makes clear that being good at shepherding means reaching out for those who have left the safety of the flock to navigate a world full of wolves. These are those of my parish family that worry me the most.
To begin with, for those of my parents who are trying to raise their children in the ways of the faith. Kudos! You are doing the job you said you would do at your child's baptism. I realize it is difficult and a constant swerving path of juggling commitments and establishing priorities that one can hope to pleasingly present to God. I know it isn't always appreciated by your children and you have to endure the 'it's too churchy' nonsense. You are what keeps us running. I know sometimes your children rebel anyway, especially when they leave your home. I know the heart ache it causes. I know you persevere. Thank you. You did this with minimal help, unfortunately, from those who were supposed to spiritually guide you within the Church.
That is a point that needs to be expanded upon. I cannot condemn parents who fall below this measure because for 5 decades we have not done well in either teaching the faith or evangelizing through our parishes. It wasn't for lack of dedicated volunteers. It wasn't for lack of dedicated teachers. The materials we gave them to do their job were substandard, watered down, and sometimes just outright wrong. Many of those who should have known better did not reverse this trend. Too many hid behind not wanting to offend and simply did nothing but complain about the eventual outcome. Too many spiritual 'fathers' forgot a lesson that any good parent knows: the calling of being a parent is not to be your child's buddy (they have those elsewhere), but to be their parent...even when doing so angers. Any parent who failed at that job knows that when they finally do start being the parent...well, there is going to be a lot of blow back. The Church in this country is awakening to the fact that we have failed the flock (which means we failed Christ Himself) and that if we are going to do our calling, we need to act as parents who love their children.
This said, I now address my parents who struggle with raising their children in the fullness of the Catholic life. What I write is not going to be easy to read, but believe me, it is said our of desperate longing and love for you...I want to see you home. Every Mass I don't see you or your family has the same bitter sting as a parent looking at an empty chair where their child should be at the dinner table. Knowing that the relationship isn't what it should be has the same heart break as a parent estranged from a child. The parish is meant to a family of faith that is connected with our extended family through the world and in heaven. I know we have failed to drive home this point, but being a Catholic is first and foremost about relationship: relationship with God and with His family.
We have many children who show up either steadily or periodically to our parish education programs. We have trying hard to upgrade them and teach better what we believe. However, all we can do is supplemental to what is being done at home. If we teach them the Eucharist is important, that keeping holy the Sabbath is an actual commandment, that we must be reconciled when the division of sin has entered the picture, that the relationship with God and His people is a primary relationship...but this is not modeled by their parents, the lessons are lost and even negated. If we can disregard these things, then what of faith do we actually need to follow? Does being honest, kind, respectful, and such also become optional? Does even believing in God become optional? For a child's mind it does. Left unchallenged, that disbelief becomes set. A mixed message is being sent and the answer isn't to just simply abandon the faith altogether. It leads to a disbelief which has been come to one compromise at a time. I am not saying you are a bad person if this is your situation...no...only that you can be better and that we want to help you. Why? Because I am not going to be a different kind of parent that what I am asking you to be.
As some of you know, I am what is called a revert. That means that at one time in my life I left the Catholic faith. I was a practical agnostic. I know the difficulty of coming home. I was that prodigal son who wandered from the safety of the home. I know the challenge of changing set ways. I know the fear of what were people going to think. I know the fear of wondering what if I couldn't follow through. I know the frustration of false starts and failing. All I can tell you is that it is worth it. I can promise that if you are willing to dig deeper, we are willing to give support and help you be the kind of parent that God calls you to be. We are engaging in the new evangelization specifically because I want all of my spiritual children home...all of them. Those of you reading this who have been engaged, you will be needed as help and support. I cannot do this alone. God gives us all the grace to be the parents we promised we would be...let us give ourselves to that grace and even if we have not been that parent, let's start anew.
I know this, because, first I listen to you...I actually hear what you say; secondly, let's just say that being called 'father' isn't just a job title, but a constant reminder of what my task to serve is about. My calling to this parish is what your calling is to your family. The same selfless love, the same desire for the good of those placed in your care, the same rejoicing in the good, and the same agonizing over wayward steps are a part of my everyday life. As a good parent , I desperately not only want to see each of my parishioners succeed in life, but I deeply desire to share eternal life with them in heaven.
I wish to share with a moment with you my paternal joys and worries. I would imagine my vantage point is much the same as any parent: some of my children are doing well, some are not, some have wandered off altogether. Anyone who knows me knows that this pains me. It is why we have started a concerted effort at engaging in the new evangelization. Our Lord refers to Himself as the Good Shepherd...this does mean He a good shepherd (as in good person...although He is), but the Greek word used means 'good at' shepherding. He makes clear that being good at shepherding means reaching out for those who have left the safety of the flock to navigate a world full of wolves. These are those of my parish family that worry me the most.
To begin with, for those of my parents who are trying to raise their children in the ways of the faith. Kudos! You are doing the job you said you would do at your child's baptism. I realize it is difficult and a constant swerving path of juggling commitments and establishing priorities that one can hope to pleasingly present to God. I know it isn't always appreciated by your children and you have to endure the 'it's too churchy' nonsense. You are what keeps us running. I know sometimes your children rebel anyway, especially when they leave your home. I know the heart ache it causes. I know you persevere. Thank you. You did this with minimal help, unfortunately, from those who were supposed to spiritually guide you within the Church.
That is a point that needs to be expanded upon. I cannot condemn parents who fall below this measure because for 5 decades we have not done well in either teaching the faith or evangelizing through our parishes. It wasn't for lack of dedicated volunteers. It wasn't for lack of dedicated teachers. The materials we gave them to do their job were substandard, watered down, and sometimes just outright wrong. Many of those who should have known better did not reverse this trend. Too many hid behind not wanting to offend and simply did nothing but complain about the eventual outcome. Too many spiritual 'fathers' forgot a lesson that any good parent knows: the calling of being a parent is not to be your child's buddy (they have those elsewhere), but to be their parent...even when doing so angers. Any parent who failed at that job knows that when they finally do start being the parent...well, there is going to be a lot of blow back. The Church in this country is awakening to the fact that we have failed the flock (which means we failed Christ Himself) and that if we are going to do our calling, we need to act as parents who love their children.
This said, I now address my parents who struggle with raising their children in the fullness of the Catholic life. What I write is not going to be easy to read, but believe me, it is said our of desperate longing and love for you...I want to see you home. Every Mass I don't see you or your family has the same bitter sting as a parent looking at an empty chair where their child should be at the dinner table. Knowing that the relationship isn't what it should be has the same heart break as a parent estranged from a child. The parish is meant to a family of faith that is connected with our extended family through the world and in heaven. I know we have failed to drive home this point, but being a Catholic is first and foremost about relationship: relationship with God and with His family.
We have many children who show up either steadily or periodically to our parish education programs. We have trying hard to upgrade them and teach better what we believe. However, all we can do is supplemental to what is being done at home. If we teach them the Eucharist is important, that keeping holy the Sabbath is an actual commandment, that we must be reconciled when the division of sin has entered the picture, that the relationship with God and His people is a primary relationship...but this is not modeled by their parents, the lessons are lost and even negated. If we can disregard these things, then what of faith do we actually need to follow? Does being honest, kind, respectful, and such also become optional? Does even believing in God become optional? For a child's mind it does. Left unchallenged, that disbelief becomes set. A mixed message is being sent and the answer isn't to just simply abandon the faith altogether. It leads to a disbelief which has been come to one compromise at a time. I am not saying you are a bad person if this is your situation...no...only that you can be better and that we want to help you. Why? Because I am not going to be a different kind of parent that what I am asking you to be.
As some of you know, I am what is called a revert. That means that at one time in my life I left the Catholic faith. I was a practical agnostic. I know the difficulty of coming home. I was that prodigal son who wandered from the safety of the home. I know the challenge of changing set ways. I know the fear of what were people going to think. I know the fear of wondering what if I couldn't follow through. I know the frustration of false starts and failing. All I can tell you is that it is worth it. I can promise that if you are willing to dig deeper, we are willing to give support and help you be the kind of parent that God calls you to be. We are engaging in the new evangelization specifically because I want all of my spiritual children home...all of them. Those of you reading this who have been engaged, you will be needed as help and support. I cannot do this alone. God gives us all the grace to be the parents we promised we would be...let us give ourselves to that grace and even if we have not been that parent, let's start anew.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
A Little Religious Fervor...Okay, Actually a Lot of Religious Fervor.
I want to start off with one bold proclamation: WE ARE THE ONES WITH THE 5 TALENTS!!!!! This is so true on so many levels. We, as Catholics, have been given a deep richness of God's grace especially in the Sacraments. We are given the possibility of an extraordinarily intimate relationship with God, seen most concretely through the Eucharist. We are given the ongoing gift of the forgiveness of sins. We have a God who desperately loves us and wants to have us with Him for all eternity. We have the fellowship of believers stretching throughout time and space, all fellow pilgrims meant to help each other to that Kingdom. We have a massive body of teaching and instructions to help us discern what loving God and loving our neighbor looks like. We have a Gospel which urges us on to excellence and victory! We lack no access to a bountiful spiritual treasure trove.
Furthermore, to my American readers, we enjoy a wealth and freedom in this country that so very many in this world would desperately want to have. No one who goes to worship in this country need worry about arrest or death. Even our poor live better than so very many in this world. We have an embarrassment of riches. We have access to food, clean water, medical care, housing, and work that many in this world do not have. We live in a society that does give us the ability to better ourselves should we decide to do the hand work necessary to that end. The social safety nets we have in place are extensive.
So why is their such discontent in our society? Why are we losing our youth and young adults in such alarming numbers? Why are our worship services so often paeans to mediocrity and banal worship? Why do people get 'nothing out of' our Eucharistic celebrations, as is so often commented? Some will say it is because of entitlement (everything must please me), some will say it is because we do not appreciate or even acknowledge what we have, some will say it is because we have grown more inward as individuals. Some would say it is just a case of we have grown into spoiled rotten adolescents. Maybe it is a mix of all these things. What I believe though is that we have lost our fire and fervor.
Let me explain: Every Mass should be a resounding celebration of "I LOVE YOU GOD!!!" Voices resounding like peals of thunder should be facilitating this. However for this to happen we need to be living lives that scream "I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!", that act as a powerful witness. This cannot be synthesized nor faked. We can have all of the lively sounding music or solemn music we want. We can have all the happy clappy or all the silence we want. Mediocrity of faith will lead to mediocrity in worship. Do we really get what we have?! Do we? I can assure if we did, we would be those voices raised like the peals of thunder in praise of our God! EVERY MASS should be a loud and bold proclamation that we have the 5 talents!
But what do we experience? Mystery? Beauty? Wonder? Awe? Simply overwhelmed at whose presence we are coming into? If we understood even a minimal level that is what we should feel, perhaps we would be connecting with what is happening. But what do we experience? Banality, the commonplace, mediocrity, tepidness...nothing...a void? In the Book of Revelations, Jesus says to the Church of Laodicea through St. John, "How I wish you were hot or cold, but because you are lukewarm, I vomit you from my mouth!" Our celebration of the Eucharist is not to be an exercise in mediocrity! As I said before though, our worship will be a reflection of our spiritual lives. It is not about what we get out of Mass, it is about what we give!
I am not saying that we couldn't do better in Mass. I do tire of singing about ourselves in a Christianized narcissistic way. I deeply desire music directed primarily to the praise and worship of our God. I don't want to hear the same stuff I hear outside of Mass...I want to know right away that what we are here to do is radically different. I want mystery and awe! I want to hear from the music, the readings, and the homily a resounding 'I LOVE YOU LORD!'. I want worship to represent the acknowledgement that we indeed possess the richness of God's grace. Why? Because Mass is supposed to fire us up to engage in the mission of Jesus Christ...to invest the 5 talents in such a way so as to draw others to Christ Himself. No fervor in Church will translate into no engagement. This doesn't mean the blare of percussion instruments as much as it means the roar of thunder of our voices in praise of God. That roar is as powerful through chant as it is through more modern styles. It should not be an either/or wargame that so many parishes devolve into (like that isn't immediately perceptible). We have been around for the better part of two millenia...we should quit trying to act as if we either came into existence or ceased to exist 50 years ago!
Mass is the tip of the iceberg. Our lives as Catholics need to scream "I Love you Lord!"...not 'bah, sure, I think I like you, if you actually exist and all.' Pope Francis referred to pagan Catholics a few days ago. That's harsh but pretty accurate. Catholicism isn't a fraternal order to belong to...we aren't the Kiwanas with a lot of statuary. We are the caretakers of a radical faith meant to transform the world! We look at so many of the problems we face as a church. We want to blame the teachings. I say it is the timidity and lukewarmness! I say it is the ago old desire to have a god who doesn't challenge...a doddering doofus who will just rubber stamp our least efforts with heaven. Wake up people!! If in the parable the king grows infuriated with the one who hid his single talent...what will be the response to those who buried the 5?! We need to understand in the most powerful possible way: we worship a God who expects us to use wisely what He has given...not a god who desires nor rewards mediocrity and lukewarmness. There needs to be a restoration of that understanding...and that restoration will breath new life into our parishes, our families, and our world!
Monday, November 3, 2014
Is Pope Francis a Communist?
It is worth noting that our Christian faith is founded by a man who possessed nothing. Jesus embraced radical poverty. He, being the Son of God, could have been born into great power and wealth. When He comes into the world, it is the Father's will that Jesus be born into the lower classes. He died owning no earthy possessions other than the clothing he wore, which was gambled for as he was being executed on the cross. Even his tomb belonged to another. Why? Why does the Son of God come this way? What is the larger point? His life points to the Kingdom of God/Heaven. He comes to establish it. In John 18:36, when in front of Pilate, he declares His Kingdom is not of this world. He is not attached to the things of this world. he encourages His disciples and apostles to do the same (Matthew 5:3, 6:19-21, 6:24, 28-32, 10:9-10 for examples). Is he saying wealth is inherently evil? No. He is saying that we should concern ourselves with higher goals. In Timothy 6:10 reminds us that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. We look at these passages and see that the consumption and ownership of worldly goods can not become an ends in themselves. For the powerful, regardless of their political bent, this preoccupation with worldly wealth and power can become all consuming. History shows that this wreaks havoc on humanity.
Unrestrained capitalists can have very thin skins. The envious, a driving force in both unrestrained capitalism and communism, also are thin skinned. Unrestrained capitalists like to hide behind the tiresome words 'whatever the market will bear.' This is to act as if the market were its own philosophy of morality. Let's be honest, though, the market will bear slave labor, child labor, low wages, outrageous compensation packages for elites while laying off employees, bonuses for work that should have the person fired, and cronyism. This same list is alive and well among socialists and communists as well. This is problematic and sinful. When we love things and use people, we wander from from our human dignity and abandon any pretense of a relationship with God. When the pope points this out, and he does frequently, this does not make him a communist, it makes a follower of Christ. That pointing out these aspects of the Gospel makes people uncomfortable is more a reflection on them than him.
We, as followers of Christ are not engage in the class warfare that is at the heart of either extreme of the spectrum. For most of you reading this, even if in American society you may not be among the wealthy. but odds are you are part of the upper 1% of wealth in this world. Luke 12:28 reminds is to whom much is given, much is expected. The accrual of wealth for its own sake is problematic and even condemned in Scriptures. In Luke 20:28 ff the rich man is condemned for using his excess wealth to enrich himself instead of helping those in need,a violation of Deuteronomy 24:19. Inasmuch as we do not engage in class warfare neither do we hoard. Of this the Church has been clear for her entire history (not always lived up to, but certainly never taught to hoard) and has placed an onus on those of means to look after the needs of the poor. That Pope Francis says any of this is neither novel nor revolutionary. It certainly does not make him a communist! If anything, it makes the life of detachment from wealth that he has chosen throughout his life a living witness to the life of Christ Himself. Is this way every single person should do it? No. Nor is the pope saying it should be. As the successor to the Chair of Peter, he is saying nothing more that what the Church has taught for 2000 years.
So why all the hubbub? Politics. We live in a society polarized on a plethora of levels. The atmosphere is toxic. Witness the unrelenting amounts of speculation and outright nonsense surrounding the synod. There is no topic anymore that does not rally people around a cause to which they will destroy others who disagree with them. Anyone with a sense of history and a modicum of faith knew the synod would not change one iota of Church teachings; because we might want to be more gentle, kinder, or loving does not necessitate a caving in on moral issues. What bigger prize than the leader of the largest institution on earth?! The pope is on my side!!! No, he isn't and nor should he be! He is the spiritual leaders of 1.1 billion people of every possible bent and description. It is isn't his job to favor one over the other. I look at the predecessors he had...they didn't either (as much as some want to say Pope Benedict did...read all of his writings sometime). The pope is not the grand prize in the battles of ideologies.
Many call him communist because he questions the practice of some forms of capitalism. Any form or any socioeconomic theory is not without its abuses and malformations. If being unrelenting in my capitalism means I hoard for myself and take a Darwinistic approach to others, I cannot be authentic about being a Christian! Doubt that? I would invite the reader to go to Matthew 25:31-46 and take a good long look at how we will be judged. Perhaps the pope saying what he does about wealth distribution and economies has absolutely nothing to do with Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels and lot more to do with the King of Glory. Because I might belong to a certain economic theory means neither treating that theory as gospel nor of being unwilling to admit its flaws. To point out said flaws does not make one a enemy as much as it does a purveyor of truth.
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